The Great Escape

Once upon a time...

Once upon a time there lived women who loved to adorn themselves. Taking time to look at oneself from head to toe with their own eyes was the way to start the day after prayer. As time went on and new things came into civilization, the mirror was introduced. After women completed their morning rituals (prayer, getting children ready, caring for their parents and the likes), they would adorn themselves in the mirror. Adorning had a different meaning for different people. For some adorning meant cleaning their body, for others adorning meant cleaning, rubbing on oils and applying perfumes and for another group adorning added hair styling to that adorning process. 

Today, adorning has taken a different path. Due to the paradigm shift in womanhood, motherhood, career, marriage and so; adorning is not quite the foo-foo frilly girly girl stuff it used to be. While spending two hours to get ready for the day is not on the minds or in the schedules of today's woman; there should be some time set aside to simply adorn, care for and prepare yourself as you go out into the world to do whatever pleases you. 

Family, career, spirituality, philanthropy and care for others are extremely important to many for varying reasons. However, nothing is more important than self. Self can sound so selfish. Well, because it is. Incorporating self first is priority one as you prepare for tomorrow today, right now. The story of the flight attendant instructing passengers to place the oxygen mask over their nose first in the event of an emergency remains a favorite analogy to many in encouraging others the importance of putting self first. 

The same can be said when making an effort to face the goals, task or challenges of the day. Putting your best foot forward every time you can is essential to doing your purpose or finding it. Putting your best foot forward begins or concludes with raising your arms to care for your hair as you enter the world of co-existing.

The misnomer that beauty takes a lot of time discourages many who are involved or is overwhelmed with the hustle and bustle demands of preparing for the day. This blog is to inform you that it does not take a lot of time. Taking the time to adorn yourself has many benefits. Some examples of those benefits are as follows:

Time will give you time.

1. Combing hair, 2-5 minutes
2. Washing your hair, 5-10 minutes
3. Learning how to care for your hair is a great stress buster, 5 min. to 2 hours
4. Curling your hair, 5-45 minutes
5. Blow drying your hair, 5-30 minutes
6. Braiding your hair, 5 min. - 2 hours

Some benefits to doing your own hair:

1. It can save you time from to and from travel time to the salon
2. It can save you time on the wait time at the salon
3. It shows your children who are watching your rituals that self-care is important
4. It affords you a chance to examine your entire body and notice if something is not right (i.e. lumps, bumps, moles, skin irritation, body odor and so on)
5. It shows your mate the importance of self-care

While taking the time to adorn yourself may seem like a waste of time, it is not. Refrain from ignoring all that you consider beautiful about yourself. Do not allow the frustration and confusion of not knowing how to do your hair, keep you from it. Take the time and make the time to learn your hair. Invest wisely. Understand that you only purchase 3 items to care for your entire body. Soap, lotion or oil and deodorant. Both are done with the use of a face cloth, loofah mitt and hands. Hair care should only consist of 3 items as well. Shampoo, conditioner (optional) and a styling agent (oil, cream, spray, gel, leave in conditioner and the likes). Hair can be styled with up to 3 things: comb, brush (optional) and your hands!

The impact is real today.

The great escape for many began at the onset of slavery. Not just for the slaves but for the masters, their spouses and offsprings as well. The "man's" main focus was control over all for the sake of land, money, and lust. The "man" or the master was not interested in hygiene or care of self. He knew that they key to mental and physical slavery was to deny self-care. Self-care connects one to their spirit. His goal was to break that spirit for control and money. That type of mental abuse and neglect carried over and was incorporated as a way of life for many. 

Sometime during the 1920's through 1970, people were no longer running. People were learning and embracing their culture and its practices. From the coiffed hairstyles of the 20's through the 50's to the Afros, cornrow braids and long hair of the 60's; people were loving and embracing the hair that made them unique. 

When was the last time you did this!

The momentum of the run has returned with the introduction of fancy marketing as companies and people brand themselves. Their goal is to promote their products and themselves by selling a possible solution to your fear of your hair and desires to look a certain way. The tactics seen on social media, print and TV are directly responsible for you not wanting to do your hair yourself. Self-esteem, lack of self-knowledge and history of your lineage also play a vital role in how you see yourself. 

In the end, It is important to beautify and adorn yourself. Both are vital to your existence as a human because again, they enhance and connect to your spirituality. Love yourself as you be yourself. Be open to growing and learning about yourself and your hair on a daily basis. 

Remember, "Beauty is, as beauty does, as beauty gets!"

Nappy Hair

Stereotype. 

Is it me, but do you ever reflect back on those pivotal moments when you had those "A-ha Moments" in learning that were very fascinating? I still have them to this very day. When I was in the 6th grade, I was full of excitement to learn how to use different words to express myself. 

In reminiscing, nothing quite tickled my fancy that I can recall, like learning the word, "stereotype." Now, if my memory serves me correct, which it doesn't as I age, I recall thinking the word stereotype meant some kind of stereo. I just knew my guess could not be wrong. After all, I knew what a stereo was and I knew what type meant; so how could I have went wrong on that word? Boy, was I wrong. 

Since learning what stereotype meant, I've come to realize that it is just as real at 48 years old as it was at 11 years old. If it has been a while since you've read the definition of stereotype, let me refresh you. As defined in Websters, "stereotype is a widely held but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person or thing."

Being a hairstylist, stereotyping, unfortunately, is very commonplace. For example, it is not uncommon for a hairstylist to assume that a person is black if they have brown skin with textured hair. I highly recommend licensed hairstylists to do a thorough consultation. A consultation gives the professional  a chance to get to know the customer first before they even touch their hair. It is the consultation that reduces the likelihood of stereotyping. 

Artificial hair.

In no place do I see stereotyping like I see it in the hair industry. Stereotyping has moved from the eyes to the thoughts, to the pages and now to the computer screens worldwide. Words and images of "natural hair" being predominantly associated with women of color regardless the location. As a matter of fact, stereotyping is also changing the meaning of words. Stereotyping promotes the ignorance that "natural hair' is textured hair for Black girls and women. Funny, what about boys and men?

Yep, it's that bad. I was in the salon the other day and my new guest asked, "What is your take on natural hair? I notice in all that I read about you, you shy away from that word." I responded, "Well...if it grows from your head, it's natural." She was like, "Oh." I told her that I was not trying to be funny or not sensitive. I told her that I was being professional. In being professional, it is in one's best interest to avoid stereotyping. I doubt any customer I serve would find me credible if I asked if they had "natural" hair as I touch it or implied it wasn't natural because it was chemically altered. To me, that would not be professional. To me, that would be stereotyping.

For the record, a wig or weave in any fashion is the only hair that is not natural. It is sewn onto some sort of netting, weft or is attached to the natural fibers growing from your scalp in many ways from gluing, to sewing, to clipping them in, fusing and the likes.  Seriously, not much of hair styling can take place without some hair. Except In the many cases of people who can not grow hair, is on medication that causes them to lose their hair or for those who simply shave it off because they don't want any hair; then no hair it is. They may opt for a wig in the many ways they can be made. 

Natural hair! 

Natural hair is hair that grows from the scalp in the varying textures of curly, kinky, wavy, straight and Afro. Everybody of the same race or within the same family does not have the same hair. Natural hair is not a black thing. Textured hair is most certainly not a black thing. Natural hair that is chemically altered via straighteners, texturizers or hair color REMAINS natural. Just because it is altered does not mean that it is not natural. It means your hair is altered. Promoting altered hair as anything but natural is like saying, "If you wear makeup, earrings or put clothes on; you are not natural." 

For the record, hair is a pliable resilient fiber that you can safely do many things to alter it. Hair's chief purpose is adornment because adorning yourself is innate. The unknown desire to be cute or alter your appearance (hair included) is natural as scratching an itch! To be exact, they still have not found any scientific or biological reason why we have hair. Aside from the obvious theory of protection, research has not yielded anything profound about why we have hair.

If it grows from your scalp, it's natural.

Rather a person wants to braid, twist, loc, color, relax, perm, wave or weave their hair; it is still natural. Texture and race have nothing to do with determining whose hair is natural. Again, if it grows from the scalp or skin; it is natural. 

The deliberate act of excluding others who do not look like you is along the lines of discrimination, racism, classism, sexism. When you clump people together and assume they are all the same and share your sentiments is stereotyping. I professionally and deliberately do not do business with any hair company, styling tool manufacturer and hair stylists who overtly or indirectly incorporate stereotyping in their scope of service for financial gain. When it is at the expense of uninformed people, it makes my skin cringe. 

Natural Hair

As much as I am a fan of social networking, I do not like it when I see people stereotyping the phrase, "natural hair." Then they have the audacity to take it to another level by indirectly cyberbullying and using overt racism by promoting that "natural hair" is a black thing. That type of behavior is exclusive. Natural hair is inclusive. Most humans are designed to grow natural hair. Therefore, promoting it as exclusive to one race or textured hair group of people is not true. Exclusion is mean spirited. It scares people and it confuses people. 

This "natural hair" movement in some ways is not moving.  The "natural hair" movement has an element of rhetoric that misinforms, divides and hurts. It is rhetoric that takes advantage of people who want to belong. It misleads those who are looking for solutions to hair styling challenges. It is also rhetoric that has an element of a clique that only a certain photo filtered shades of brown with made up faces and innuendos of being "black enough" is natural. That is wrong on every level and you know it. 

If you cut us open, humans are
pretty much wired the same!

Stereotyping happens to me often. I once participated in a "natural hair" event and was questioned the "naturalness" of my race and hair because my hair was artificially colored blonde. My hair is still blonde. Regardless if my hair is artificially colored or not; I am a woman of color and my hair is still natural. Challenging a person's authenticity of naturalness based on the color of their skin or if their hair is chemically altered or artificially enhanced is preposterous.  Suggesting that girls and women must somehow be validated as "natural" by images that rarely looks like them when they wake up and get on with their day is uberly unrealistic. That challenge and suggestion give way to a belief that "natural" is carefree and automatic. Natural is never carefree and automatic. Natural requires time, creativity, care, attention, and patience. 

In conclusion, as a licensed hair stylist, I know for certain that "natural hair" really does grow from the scalp of all who can grow hair. I know that "natural hair" is not a black thing. It is a biological thing.