Combs, Rakes & Pics Oh My!

I recall when I was in high school I had to take this elective class called “Think.” I remeber looking at my schedule (the one I did not make) and thought to myself, “What kind of class is this? I mean aren’t we already thinking?” I asked the counselor about the class and what it meant. He summed it up by telling me that the class was designed to improve my “critical thinking skills.” “Oooooookay!” was my response. While I don’t recall everything about the class, one think I do remember, was learning about analogies. As a cosmetologist,  I now use analogies all the time to help my clients “think” differently about how they care for their hair care thus making learning how to do it at home a lot more easier to comprehend and practice upon leaving the salon.

In 2011, Susan Yara, a writer for Forbes Magazines reports, “the PBA (Professional Beauty Association) reports the average price for a hairstyle in the United States is $45.00.” Considering many salons charge double that amount,  that makes the cost of many hair styles sizeable investments and to me that changes the way licensed professionals should do business. I began to see early on the paradigm shift in hair care move from one simple request to getting “my hair did” for the day to to what are your doing to my hair. To me that translates into, “how do I protect my investment?”

After I service a client, I always send them home with a comb. But not just any comb. The proper comb. Why the comb? Because, it all starts with the comb, rake or pick; oh my! That is right. Nothing undo’s the efforts of costly salon visit than a cheap comb. Nothing will rip, tear and snap hair than the wrong comb. And nothing will detangle, un-matt or reduce the tangling and tears than no comb at all.

Why the comb? Going back to that “Think” class, I will use an analogy to drive in why. A comb is to your hair what a broom is to the floor. Still don’t get it? Here is another one, A comb is to your hair what a toothbrush is to your teeth. (I know you bobbin’ your head cuz I can see ya!) Yeah, you get it now. If you have ever tried to sweep the floor with a cheap broom; it won’t collect the debris. And If you have ever attempted to brush your teeth with a over-used toothbrush; you will quickly reach in your “for guest only” stash of toothbrushes and crack that baby open as if it was a “break in case of emergency seal!”

The main purpose of a comb is to clean and detangle hair by way of removing hair that has completed its growth cycle so that new hairs can come in and to remove hair that is broke to reduce snarling and tangling. If you use the wrong comb or an inferior comb on your tresses (chemically altered or not), the result is unwanted damage, loss of length and/or irritated scalp.

Comb out Comb

There are basically 3-4 types of combs that have varying purposes. The first is a comb out comb or Afro comb. These combs should be made of rubber or a sturdy plastic. Rubber/plastic combs are easier to sanitize, they do not break and they glide easily through most textures (curly, kinky, wavy and straight), density ( the numbers of hair fibers per cubic inch) and length (how long the hair is) provided you have a great conditioner or detangler on your hair. Combs made of other materials or metals typically break or can not effectively detangle more dense thick heads of textured hair.  The second is the, long tooth comb out comb. This comb is shaped the same as the regular comb out comb and is best when made of rubber or plastic. This comb is the best for long, very dense and very textured heads of hair. The long teeth are the secret to an ouchless detangle and the long teeth on the combs can detalngle those hair textures and length. The third comb is a “all purpose” comb. It also known as a barbers comb. This comb is best for relaxed sleek styles. The all purpose come is also great for wrapping your hair, smoothing ponytails or combing bangs. The fourth comb is the “Pin Tail or Rat Tail” comb. This comb is excellent for parting hair to curl, flat iron or roll hair. The pin or rat tail comb is also use to section hair for chemical relaxing hair to make the suggested partings. These combs are best when made of plastic. The fifth comb is the “Rake” comb. The “rake” comb is best to create texture on thermal curled or roller set styles. Do not use wide or “rake” combs to detangle hair or use them as everyday combs. Remember the analogy above. A comb is to your hair what a broom is to the floor. And with that being written, ask yourself would you sweep your floor with a rake or would you use a broom? Ah ha, still bobbin’ yo head!

Well, that concludes my blog on combs rakes and picks; oh my! Be sure to take all this into consideration as you think about the investment spent on your tresses.

Ye Ol' Ends Trimmed

So there you stand in the mirror. Your hair is curled. You have rolled, set and curled your hair to your hearts content; yet every time you attempt to comb that hair into a style; the curls along with the style simply flops. What is a girl to do? Hmm, you think to yourself. Perhaps it is time for a hair cut. Off you go into the wild blue yonder of the hair salon. You sit in the chair. You have one simple request. “I would like to have my ends trimmed. You know, just  a little. I am growing my hair out and I don’t want a lot cut off.” That is simple enough, right? Wrong. You leave the salon angry once again. You say to yourself, “I just don’t understand why every time I go to a salon to have my ends trimmed I end up with a haircut that I absolutely hate and did not ask for?”

To all my readers out there in blog world, as a licensed professional this is the second area (next to hair coloring) that I, too, remain just as perplexed as you as to why that simple request is often times not met. In order to get to the end of this concern, I will dispel the top three myths in hair cutting, I will offer solutions and cut it off from there (no pun intended)!

The top three myths about cutting hair are (drum roll please): Number 1, getting your ends trimmed is cheaper than a hair cut. Number 2, cutting your hair makes it grow. And number 3, everybody should get their hair cut every 4 weeks.

A little snip cost the same as a big chop!

If any of those myths seem familiar, then read on. Dispelling Myth Number 1, having your ends trimmed takes the same ingenuity to having a precision or designer hair cut. The difference between ends trimmed and a haircut are the words. When a hairstylist or barber goes to cut hair; in the famous words of who I call the hair guru extraordinaire, Philip Pelusi, “it’s not how much we take off; but how much we leave on that counts.” I would not expect to pay less because less hair is cut off. As a matter of fact; it is a common experience for many that when a “free” ends trimmed is in the advertisement, “buyer beware.” Also, it is not uncommon for many salons, hair stylists and barbers to include a gratis shape up, that is not in lieu of your regular "paid for" hair cut service. Most professionals charge the same regardless how much they take off. As in purchasing any salon service or thing, you get what you pay for. Seek out a professional who informs of their prices up front or in writing (a website is great as well).  In most cases, “free” anything in the beauty and barber business translates into “new” stylist/barber, beginner, a new technique or unfortunately someone who is licensed and just may not know what they are doing. Lastly, do not be afraid to ask your stylist/barber about recent hair cutting training or certificates. Professionals proudly boast and display their advanced training or/and certificates.

Myth Number 2, cutting your hair makes it grow. That myth, biologically, anatomically and scientifically typing (lol) does not jive. Hair growth starts with two things. Blood supply and hormones; not shears. Hair grows every single second of the day (unless you have a hair disorder that’s diagnosed informing you that your hair will not grow). In 30 days most people have about ¼ inch of hair. As your hair grows longer it is actually older. The ends of the hair are the oldest. As you keep them shaped they are less likely to tear, break and snap; so the result IS longer hair. So the hair cut is not making your hair grow. The hair cut is keeping your ends from tearing and breaking. And as your hair grows; the length stays.....bam!

Ends trimmed, hair cut; same thang!

Myth Number 3, everybody should get their hair cut every 4 weeks. That simply depends on the hair style. My favorite hair guru extraordinaire, Philip Pelusi also teaches, “weight is the enemy of any hair style.” Once your hair grows it becomes heavy and weighted. Now those hairstyles with layers, asymmetrical cuts, tapers and the likes, your hair style will not look nice or style well the minute the hair grows and gets heavy or long. Layers, asymmetrical cuts, tapers, fades and so on do need to be cut between 2-4 weeks. If you want to grow those hair styles out, I suggest you have your hair cut every 2-3 months. this will allow the hair to become weighted and length is achieved. Do not wait too long or else the ends will become frayed and more WILL need to be cut off.

"It's not how much I take off, but how
much I leave on that counts!"

To make sure your hair cuts are worth the investment and to make sure you get miles out of your style, follow the direction of the person who cut it. Do not take matters into your hand by cutting it yourself or jumping from chair to chair looking for the stylist/barber who will do what you say. After all, you are paying for a professional look. Please allow the professional to do their job. Most professionals start with a consultation and from there the magic begins. As for those ends trimmed; only if you want to grow it out or just need a little tightening up for that special occasion. And remember, it’s not how much we take off; but how much we leave on that counts!

But, I Am Still Thirsty

Ahhh, so refreshing!

I can recall growing up as a kid having moments when I absolutely loved water and I recall moments when I absolutely hated water. For example, as a kid I loved water straight from the faucet. You remember when you use to jump on on the kitchen sink and drink it straight from the faucet and your mother came up and smacked you in the back of the head? Oh, or what about when your cousin or grandma would hold the long green water hose and let you drink it until you almost burst and of course, they would spray you with the hose! Now, there were times when I absoluted hated water as a kid? Drum roll please. The top 3 times I hated water as a kid; bath time. I loathed the street lights too because it meant, “come run your water to take a bath.” I did not like water when I had to take it with a pill. “Really mom, what were you thinkin’?” And, the number one time when I absolutely hated water? You guessed it, when we had no Kool Aid!

“My how you’ve grown!” My Aunt Mary would say. Gone are the days of hated water. Today, I can proudly say I love water. Though I never thought I wold live to see the day I’d pay for it; I love it none the less. In my career as a cosemtologist, I seriously can not think of another leading cause to unwanted hair shedding, hair breakage, limp hair and hair that lacks luster other than water.

While it is true that water provides a great source of hydration to our organs; water offers other benefits and aids to our body’s functions. Water has many benefits to our body and overall health. I did some research to highlight a few benefits of water aids in our health which of course improves hair. Shanna Freeman, a contributing writer for the Mayo Clinic’s brochure on water informs us that water can also do the following: reduce the burden on our kidneys, bladder, liver and spleen by flushing out waste. She also writes that water helps dissolve vital minerals and other nutrients; thus making them accessible to our vital organs. Lastly, she writes that water actually carries nutrients and oxygen to cells in our bodies.

In my line of work, I see dehydration in it’s most interesting form. I see it in the skin and hair. I always teach that hair is actually an appendage of your skin in the form of a fiber called hair. With that fact; lack of water is sure to affect the hair. I have saved my customers hundreds of dollars in unnecessary moisture/protein treatments, medications, haircuts, make-up and more just by encouraging them to drink more water. I even offer my clients discounts when I see that they are drinking more water! When you think of drinking water, think of how those tiny molecules in water really do help those other tiny cells go to the right places in your body to do what they need to do  make you and your hair healthy. When you reduce your water intake or replace it with increased consumption of sugary beverages, alcoholic beverages or none at all; you are doing great harm to yourself.

While there are many theories on how much water to drink, I suggest to double what your normally do if you are not a great fan of drinking water. So for example, I have read many reports that suggest drinking half your weight in ounces. Let’s say you weight 210 pounds; then you should be drinking 105 oz of water. That is the equivalent to a little more than a gallon and a half per day. While many may never drink half their weight in ounces; it is very well worth the deliberate practice to drink more water each day.

To get more water in, I suggest you carry a bottle with you, accept offers on a cup of water, take a bottle of water to the gym and put a bottle or cup of water by your night stand at night. Remember the many benefits of water such as improved health, weight management, lubed joints, cleaner organs, clearer skin and my favorite; strong, shed free and shiny hair.

Bottoms up!

Awe Crap!

When many think of what it takes to be beautiful. A few thoughts come to mind. First there are the typical beauty rituals of cleansing, exfoliating, massaging and moisturizing. Another beauty ritual that comes to mind is exercising. Let's see, there is the warm up/stretch out, the actual workout, getting the blood/oxygen flowing, then there is the cool down finished with more stretching and an affirmation here and there. Also, putting on nice clothes, make up and or perfume also comes to mind when one thinks of beauty rituals. With all the above mentioned; no wonder beauty is very sought after. The process to be beautiful appears to be beautiful in itself.

The No.2 is the new No.1

Now let's cut through the chase and get down to business. Almost everybody remembers the old adage, "Beauty is skin deep; but ugly is to the bones!" Beauty may not be all the way skin deep and ugly surely isn't completely to the bones. What really makes one beauty is what is on the inside. Yeah, yeah, yeah I know. How many tines have we heard that before? Well, to be honest; mother was right again. Beauty does start on the inside and is completed with a BM! A BM you ask? Yes, BM as in bowel movement, poopie, doodie, potty and all those other cute names to make what is so grossly normal sound cute. A good old fashioned BM is responsible for the external beauty most truly admire.

What things in external beauty do most admire? Most admire intelligence, great personality, flat stomachs, clear skin, and of course my favorite in beauty; beautiful shiny hair. No need to re-read the first sentence in this paragraph because it is true. Bowel movements are somewhat a taboo topic of conversation and suggestion in the world of beauty. Contrary to most beauty approaches and recommendation; bowel movements should always be included in the discussion of health and beauty goals. What is it about bowel movements that makes you intelligent, have clear skin, a flat stomach, a great personality and beautiful shiny hair you ask?

Viveca, a Blooger of "Fatigue Be Gone," writes this about constipation and irregular bowel movements; "Constipation feeds fatigue, literally. Because toxins aren't being eliminated properly, they are in fact building up and demanding more of your body's energy to process and store." That is correct. When toxins are not eliminated regularly and properly; those toxins begin to tax the body in more ways than one. The result typically starts with a sluggish performance in the brain; thus making you moody and unable to concentrate to do the task at hand with excellence.

The battle of the bulge begins on the toilet with one our grand parents famous sayings, "Poop or get off the pot!" If you get off the pot and do not poop, the bulge will win!" If bowel movements don’t occur on a daily basis, where does it go? It's stored in the colon, which becomes more and more impacted over time, causing the belly to bulge. The excess fecal matter is stored in the body and it WILL add weight to the body. The more impacted the colon becomes, the more weight you carry." says Nutritionist, Linda Keith Anderson. So making significant changes in what you eat and how much becomes pertinent in one's determination to rid that unwanted bulge. While fancy pills, massages and the likes help; nothing will "move them kits" like fiber, water and exercise. Please keep in mind that nothing will undo all of your efforts like a night out with wings, fries, chips and dips. Understand that impacted fecal matter, improper elimination, constipation or diarrhea not only makes you cranky, sluggish in your thought and have unwanted bulge; it also is responsible for the cause of unwanted acne as well. Because the skin is it largest organ of the body; it is quick to reveal the inner workings of your body or what is lacking in the body  via the skin. The skin truly tells the doctor many things we hide, deny or fib about.

Lastly, my favorite; hair! Hair is skin. Again skin is the largest organ of the body. I can tell my customers more about what is and what is not going on in their bodies simply by analyzing their hair. To date, I have always been right. Before you run out to purchase expensive moisturizing treatments; drink water. If limp, shedding an hair breakage frightens you; add foods that are rich in protein to strengthen hair versus a protein treatment. If it is longer hair you are after; exercise, increase fiber intake, dark green vegetables, have a good BM and I guarantee long, strong and shiny hair will always be the result.

Understand that bowel movements are very different from person to person; but eliminating at least 2-3 times per day will suffice; though after every meal would be excellent.

Refrain from pills, diets and fads that "make you go." Instead drink more water and eat foods like oatmeal, wheat based cereals, dark green vegetables and adding healthy oils to your diet such as olive oil or/and flax seed oil to help promote regular and proper elimination. If you feel that you are not eliminating properly, do not play doctor. Visit your doctor for product diagnosis.

Now, the next time you see a beautiful person, with a flat stomach, a great personality accentuated by great hair; you will now say to yourself; "I bet she/he boo boo'd today!"

;-)

Health and Hair

Wellness is here to stay.

“Let’s get physical, physical; I wanna get physical!” Ahhh, the Olivia Newton-John 1980’s hit that contributed to the Jazzercise craze that swept the nation. Back in those days Jazzercise was the thing to do. You put your tights on, followed by your favorite colored leotard and your Jazzercise look was complete with a pair of wool leggings. If you really wanted to get physical, you’d put on one of those bulky twisted head bands and strutted your way to a new figure.

My how things have changed. Today health is not all about looking cute and strutting. Looking has evolved into wellness. Somewhere in between one can choose from low impact, to Zumba, to T-25, to Billie Blanks to a boot camp. No matter how you kick it or what you call it; health and beauty is no longer focused on the external but the internal.

As a licensed professional who specializes in hair care, I can not find enough hands to high five for what I sincerely believe is a mainstay in helping people achieve health and beauty. Long hair, short hair, color treated hair, natural and so on are what many women and men’s desire. Regardless the length, texture or color; they all want it healthy. And many believe that healthy hair is all about hair care products and styling tools.

That, my dear, is the furthest thing from the truth. Healthy hair begins with nutrition that is complimented by genetics and topped off with all the hair oils, hair color, hair perms, flat irons, spray, weave and everything else you can imagine or want to spend your money on. When my customers come in and they are in search of healthy hair. I always consult with them on the following before I even physically touch their hair.

I begin by informing them of what I call “The Super Six.”  “The Super Six” are imperative to healthy hair and they are: water, sound diet, bowel movements, exercise, positive thinking and sleep.

Why? Well, to make a long blog short, water is imperative because not only does water immediately hydrate the body and the hair; it improves nutrition on a cellular level; thus making what you eat get to the vital organs and nourish them properly. A sound diet is truly imperative because you are what you eat. Food is not only about tasting good and satisfying our hunger; food is nourishment to our organs and especially hair. So if you eat a lot of junky food, you will have junky hair and vice versa. Bowel movements are so super duper imperative I could write another blog on this topic. As a matter of fact I will. Now where was I? Oh yeah, ye’ old BM. Bowel movements are imperative because that is one of the main ways the body eliminates waste and toxins. When bowel movements are irregular, hard, too runny, in pellets accompanied by an extremely putrid odor; something has to change. Make it a point to eat foods that are high in fiber and promotes good flora. Bowel movements should occur after every meal. Exercise is uberly imperative for those who desire to have fuller healthier hair due to the increased blood flow. Remember what you eat (good or bad) goes directly into your blood that nourishes your other organs and your hair! So do your Jazzercise, T-25 or Boot camp and eat your beets! Positive thinking is a must. A man thinketh; so is he. If you think positive; then positive you will be. Enough said. Lastly, Sleep. Sleep is imperative (and my favorite may I add) because when you are sleeping, the body repairs itself. One would truly be amazed by all the wonderment in repairing, rejuvenation and healing that takes place when the body is at a true sound rest.

While all of this is a bit much to digest. I encourage you to re-read the simplicity of what I call “The Super Six” and begin to make a commitment to wellness which not only results in a strong body and sound mind. “The Super Six” also results in healthy hair.

“Now let me hear your body talk, your body talk!”

Co-Wash or Hog Wash

As a some time follower of trends and fads; I have had my share of things I wanted to try. Remember shoulder pads? I would go to the Limited clothing store to buy them by the dozens. I wore the earring with the key on it. Today my lil earlobes are paying a price for them. I also wore Swatch watches. I will admit, there was a time when I wore 3 of them complete with the overall strap hanging off my shoulder. Of the all the fads and trends I tried, Co-Washing is one I have not and will not.

Would you wash up with lotion?

According to Carly Cardellino, a Blogger for Cosmopolitan Magazine, Co-Washing simply means cleansing your hair with your favorite conditioner versus your shampoo. She also reports that this “gentler way” of cleansing makes hair softer, reduces drying and protects hair color from fading.

I say, “Hog wash with a capital H!” I first heard of this phenomena a few years ago in the salon. I did not think much of it. Why? Well, I am no scientist, chemist or dermatologist; but the first question that came to mind is, “Would you wash up with lotion?” As a licensed professional who shampoos hair for a living, I can not reiterate the importance and relevance of proper scalp cleansing. I can also assure you that no maker of any conditioner would promote or advise any of their valued loyal customers to shampoo hair with one of their conditioners. Never.

It is true that sulfates have been the main source of removing dirt and debris from the hair and scalp for years. Sulfates are surfactants that attract dirt, oil and they are also what makes soaps suds thus resulting in squeaky clean hair. There are many experts who report that sulfates causes cancer. The verdict is still out on that one. However, sulfates can cause allergic reactions such as dry skin, itchy skin, skin rashes and the likes. Understand that allergic reactions to many things are not uncommon. Every hair care product instructs users to discontinue use when any form of skin allergy or eye contact with their product is the result; sulfates or not.

The scalp is a part of your skin. Skin is the largest organ of the body, contrary to popular belief. Skin is also part of the excretory system which means; it excretes waste from the body via skin. Many think of sweat as the only way. Well, the scalp release yeast, fibrin, medicines, drugs, alcohol and sweat. For some; pimples (which can be scratched) can also show up on the scalp. Keep in mind the hair and scalp typically has dirt and debris from the environment, micro organisms as well as hair care products. Also, I must add there is another element of debris on the hair and scalp if you smoke or live with someone who smokes. Keep all these contributing factors in mind; now ask yourself, “Is this conditioner really removing all this off my hair and scalp?” Of course not.

If you desire to have softer and manageable hair that will also protect your chemically treated (hair color and relaxed) hair, there are 3 great options to achieving this. The first option is to use a sulfate-free shampoo (some lather and some do not). The second option is to invest in a better quality shampoo. The third and final option is to use a detangling conditioner after you shampoo, detangle your hair and follow up with your favorite conditioner.

In my professional opinion Co-Washing is very dangerous to the scalp and skin. When the scalp and hair is not cleansed properly with the right products; the immediate effects are tender sore scalps, very scaly scalps, excessive shedding, dull hair, limp hair, acne around hairline, acne on the back and acne wherever the hair touches and over processed heavily coated hair.

Conditioners are typically made of synthetic or organic softeners. The pH on many are low enough to make the hair soft. When conditioners are mis-used as they are in the case of Co-Washing, over a period of time, hair becomes overprocessed. Many conditioners do not contain the proper proteins to re-fortify, strengthen and rejuvenate hair til the next wash. Instead, they coat, seal the cuticle, increase shine, soften and make hair more manageable. Though many conditioners contain sulfates, there are not enough in them to effectively clean hair and scalp. 

So, when someone asks you about Co-Washing simply ask, “Would you wash up with lotion?”

It's All in the Shampoo

When I was younger I experienced some tragedies in my life. You know: bad grades, spankings, standing in the corner and eating squash? While those experiences were tragic; they helped mold me into the refined young lady I am today. But (there is always a but), no tragic experience was more excruciating than (drum roll please) getting my hair shampooed.

Take your time when shampooing!

Oh my goodness it's a wash. I hated every moment of it. Whenever I reflect back on those days I shake my head and I think of my mother; poor thing. I use to think of her being that character in Moby Dick when the octopus would come out the water and attack. That is how it was for my mother. My hair would swell into this monstrosity of Afro, naps and kinks. My hair would attack my mom and her Afro comb while simultaneously snatching at my brain. I am telling you, it was horrific!

My poor lil mommy. What was she to do? She would threaten to cut it all off and she would curse my father's side of the family with every stroke of the comb grunting through her seething teeth. She would pause between every word as she combed, "You. Have. Thick. Nappy. Hair. Just. Like. Your. Father!" I remember thinking, "Well why didn't you pick another man?"

While the above mentioned story is interestingly funny; the selection of hair care products available back then was even more funny. Back in those days there were only a handful of products available for Afro hair and none of them did any of what was written on the bottles. Fast forward to today and the selection is too many to name and so overwhelming to choose from.

To make shampooing hair at home less tragic and with less hassle at home, I have four simple steps to selecting the right shampoo and the correct comb. I have 3 tricks to minimize the tangle.

The first step to hassle free shampooing is to identify your the texture of your hair. Hair textures come in 4 types. Curly, Kinky, Wavy and Straight. Some people can a combination of textures. The second step is to match the shampoo to the texture. For example, if you have wavy hair; your shampoo should read "wavy" hair on the bottle. The third step, I suggest the shampoo should also read to the condition of  your hair. For example, color treated, damaged, dry and the likes. The fourth is tricky. Do not purchase your shampoo according to your race. For example, words like "natural," "African-American," "mixed," "women of color," and the likes. Those words have a very large meaning and is generic for those who are looking for a shampoo that is formulated for their unique hair fabric.

Your styling tools should consist of a comb out comb or a long tooth comb out comb. Refrain from using smaller combs, flimsy combs or combs that break easily. Those types of combs promote breakage.

Three tricks for tangle free hair begins with a detangling conditioner (these conditioners are soley responsible for making the hair softer; thus giving it more slip). Next, be sure the hair is very wet. Wet hair combined with the detangling conditioner will give the hair more slip. Last, be sure the water is warm. Warm water makes the hair sofer; while cold water causes the hair to constrict and tangle more.

Shampooing is the foundation to hair being tangle free, bouncy and shiny. Take your time. Concentrate on massaging the scalp thoroughly; for it circulates bloods which provide nourishment and promote growth. Lastly shampoo your hair as needed. For some it's weekly and others it can be every few days.

If you take your time and use these tips; I am certain shampooing will be easier, less hassle and you too will conclude that, it's all in the shampoo!

Hair Affair

Love your fabulous self!

There comes a time in every persons life when they want something exciting, challenging and rewarding. They want that "something" to be something they can share with loved ones, co-workers and friends. They want to show that “something” off. They want that “something” to be something that will remain with them for sometime to come because they are very proud of it.

Typically that “something” would usually be a person, a goal or a thing. In this instance that “something” is your hair. Yep, your hair. Prior to becoming a licensed cosmetologist, I was a social worker. Back then, I had to come up with some pretty unique and cool ideas to help families modify their behaviors. I had to teach them new functioning behaviors to replace the dysfunctional behaviors. Now one might think I would have been teaching families how to shop, do time management and all that jazz? Actually, I taught the families how to have a love affair with their hair!

How is one to have a love affair with their hair? I suggests five simple steps to get that flat iron heated so you can smooth things out with your hair and let the love begin.

To begin this love affair with your hair, the first thing you need is hair. This hair does not need to be long, wavy, curly, kinky, straight or real. It just need to be hair. Rather you have some peach fuzz coming in, short, mid-length, long, very long or fake hair; you can get started.

Second, you need some time. How much time? That depends on how much love you want to give or receive. In the matter of having a love affair with your it is all about you. Considering you are the most special, set aside at least one day a week for one hour to do whatever you like to your hair. You could comb it, shampoo it, braid it, twist it, flip it curl it and the likes.

Third, you will need styling tools and hair care products. Remember, you get what you pay for. So invest in quality combs, brushes, shampoos, conditioners and other styling agents. Please do not confuse quality with expensive. The best place to start is with a little research or your hair stylist. Oh, and do not for get grandma! Grandma’s are full of hair care secrets.

Fourth, you will need some flexibility. Refrain from being rigid. It is only a hair style. If you do not like it, you can wash it out. Play it safe and do not put your love affair in jeopardy by using chemicals that you are not familiar with. The purpose of the love affair with your hair is self preservation. If you end with unwanted results from using chemicals, the love for your hair will quickly turn to hate. So play it safe. Make some time to get to know your hair first. Find out what it needs, what it likes and what makes it perform before you compromise that with chemicals.

Lastly, you will need a great attitude complimented by a clean and polished image. In my line of work, I am constantly informing women they need to tend the “total you.” The total you is mind, body, spirit and image. Start your mornings off and end your nights with a positive affirmation of how much you love you. Feed your body whole foods and drink lots of water. Exercise, dance, stretch; do something! Make sure your attire, face and the rest of your body is clean. It does not matter how much money you have or what fancy clothes, shoes or make up you wear; what is most important is that you are clean.

When you make the time and actually take the time to have this affair with your hair. You will be pleasantly amazed by how people notice how great you look. They will also notice that you are missing in action. They will want to know who you are with and what are you doing that leaves you looking spectacular. You also will not have any time for moping or unnecessary hanky panky. Think of it this way, once you get started with your hair; you will have very little time for nonsense and pouting.

I wish you love, peace and happiness with your new found love. If you incorporate the above mentioned ideas into your quest for love and happiness, I am certain you will reap the many many rewards for having a true love affair with your hair.

Hmph, you never know where that love may take you!