The Great Escape

Once upon a time...

Once upon a time there lived women who loved to adorn themselves. Taking time to look at oneself from head to toe with their own eyes was the way to start the day after prayer. As time went on and new things came into civilization, the mirror was introduced. After women completed their morning rituals (prayer, getting children ready, caring for their parents and the likes), they would adorn themselves in the mirror. Adorning had a different meaning for different people. For some adorning meant cleaning their body, for others adorning meant cleaning, rubbing on oils and applying perfumes and for another group adorning added hair styling to that adorning process. 

Today, adorning has taken a different path. Due to the paradigm shift in womanhood, motherhood, career, marriage and so; adorning is not quite the foo-foo frilly girly girl stuff it used to be. While spending two hours to get ready for the day is not on the minds or in the schedules of today's woman; there should be some time set aside to simply adorn, care for and prepare yourself as you go out into the world to do whatever pleases you. 

Family, career, spirituality, philanthropy and care for others are extremely important to many for varying reasons. However, nothing is more important than self. Self can sound so selfish. Well, because it is. Incorporating self first is priority one as you prepare for tomorrow today, right now. The story of the flight attendant instructing passengers to place the oxygen mask over their nose first in the event of an emergency remains a favorite analogy to many in encouraging others the importance of putting self first. 

The same can be said when making an effort to face the goals, task or challenges of the day. Putting your best foot forward every time you can is essential to doing your purpose or finding it. Putting your best foot forward begins or concludes with raising your arms to care for your hair as you enter the world of co-existing.

The misnomer that beauty takes a lot of time discourages many who are involved or is overwhelmed with the hustle and bustle demands of preparing for the day. This blog is to inform you that it does not take a lot of time. Taking the time to adorn yourself has many benefits. Some examples of those benefits are as follows:

Time will give you time.

1. Combing hair, 2-5 minutes
2. Washing your hair, 5-10 minutes
3. Learning how to care for your hair is a great stress buster, 5 min. to 2 hours
4. Curling your hair, 5-45 minutes
5. Blow drying your hair, 5-30 minutes
6. Braiding your hair, 5 min. - 2 hours

Some benefits to doing your own hair:

1. It can save you time from to and from travel time to the salon
2. It can save you time on the wait time at the salon
3. It shows your children who are watching your rituals that self-care is important
4. It affords you a chance to examine your entire body and notice if something is not right (i.e. lumps, bumps, moles, skin irritation, body odor and so on)
5. It shows your mate the importance of self-care

While taking the time to adorn yourself may seem like a waste of time, it is not. Refrain from ignoring all that you consider beautiful about yourself. Do not allow the frustration and confusion of not knowing how to do your hair, keep you from it. Take the time and make the time to learn your hair. Invest wisely. Understand that you only purchase 3 items to care for your entire body. Soap, lotion or oil and deodorant. Both are done with the use of a face cloth, loofah mitt and hands. Hair care should only consist of 3 items as well. Shampoo, conditioner (optional) and a styling agent (oil, cream, spray, gel, leave in conditioner and the likes). Hair can be styled with up to 3 things: comb, brush (optional) and your hands!

The impact is real today.

The great escape for many began at the onset of slavery. Not just for the slaves but for the masters, their spouses and offsprings as well. The "man's" main focus was control over all for the sake of land, money, and lust. The "man" or the master was not interested in hygiene or care of self. He knew that they key to mental and physical slavery was to deny self-care. Self-care connects one to their spirit. His goal was to break that spirit for control and money. That type of mental abuse and neglect carried over and was incorporated as a way of life for many. 

Sometime during the 1920's through 1970, people were no longer running. People were learning and embracing their culture and its practices. From the coiffed hairstyles of the 20's through the 50's to the Afros, cornrow braids and long hair of the 60's; people were loving and embracing the hair that made them unique. 

When was the last time you did this!

The momentum of the run has returned with the introduction of fancy marketing as companies and people brand themselves. Their goal is to promote their products and themselves by selling a possible solution to your fear of your hair and desires to look a certain way. The tactics seen on social media, print and TV are directly responsible for you not wanting to do your hair yourself. Self-esteem, lack of self-knowledge and history of your lineage also play a vital role in how you see yourself. 

In the end, It is important to beautify and adorn yourself. Both are vital to your existence as a human because again, they enhance and connect to your spirituality. Love yourself as you be yourself. Be open to growing and learning about yourself and your hair on a daily basis. 

Remember, "Beauty is, as beauty does, as beauty gets!"

Different Textures for Different Folks

Maisie Dunbar
our Liberian girl!

"I am not my hair. I am not my skin," are the lyrics sung by India Arie in 2006 during the height of the "natural hair" styling explosion. What initially started off as an a movement to encourage those with textured hair to embrace their natural texture. The movement's mode of operandi to get that trend moving was to target women of color with textured hair and teach them alternatives to chemically relaxing their hair,  straighten their hair and for those with skin sensitive issues to understand that the chemicals ans toxic hair care products may be the culprit. The "natural hair" care movement suffers from what I call, "good in theory, but not in practice." How could I say this, you ask? 

Well certain folk has turned the "natural hair" care movement into battle of the textures versus those who chemically alter their hair, wears weaves or uses synthetic products against the "Black and Proudness" embrace your texture "natur hair" care promoters. This war is not declared in as much as it it spoken via the blasphemous comments made about our textured hair sister Gabby Douglas, the Olympic Gold Medalist and Pam Oliver of FOX during her coverage of the NFL. 

In the beginning "natural hair" crusade was suppose to be about natural hair. Everywhere you turned there was a natural hair workshop or twist out seminar or make your own hair care product training or a how to loc your hair demonstration and the likes. These types of information sessions were taking places nation wide from basements, to salons to large convention venues. 

Fatou our Gambian sister

Fast forward 8 years from the day that song was released and it is air apparent that the "natural hair" phenomena is going downhill fast. The quick-sand effect is sinking the "natural hair" movement by sucking people's temperaments and pockets. Why, you ask, again?  It's simple, as it relates to temperament, most consumers have what I coined, "The Big Perm Attitude" when it comes to their money. If you ever saw the mega hit, "Friday," you may recall the scene when Smokey had not paid a debt he owed to Big Perm. After Smokey failed to pay him, Big Perm replied, "Messing with my money is like messing with my emotions." Consumers do not like when you mess with their money because their money is tied to their emotions. They trust what we say.

They trust what is in that bottle. They trust the images of textured hair being sold to them. They believe it. That leads me to my second reason why the "natural hair" care trend is sinking fast. The second reason is the biological fact that all people from Africa or African decent do NOT have "Afro" hair. From a biological perspective, one does not need to be a geneticist or archaeologist or even a cosmetologist to know that all people of the same race do not have the exact same hair.

Our sister from Mali.

Yet when you look at the marketing and promotion of many of the "natural hair" care folk, one can clearly see the disconnect and the deliberate moves being made in the name of the almighty dollar to capitalize on women with textured hair who "are not their hair or skin." 

Not only does one not have to be a geneticist or archaeologist or cosmetologist; one does not also have to be a economist to predict a decline in the sales and future closings of anything that reads "natural" hair.  Consumers have the upper hand in this and they will not stand or march for it. What they will do is NOT pay for it. Just as Eddie Murphy shut down the sales of the alleged recession proof "Jheri Curl" via his "Soul Glo" scene in the hit movie, "Coming to America;" the same is sure to follow in the demise of "natural" hair care products and events via the taunting, teasing and subliminal judging done by us to us to push this natural hair care thing down women of color throats.  

Soul Glo scene from Coming to America

The reality that the "Jheri Curl" was icky, sticky and too trendy was put on blast by the creative mind of Eddie Murphy who was not afraid to expose exactly what people really disliked about the "Jheri Curl." I recall, the mass Exodus from the "Jheri Curl" to the relaxer. The "Jheri Curl" manufacturers were rushing and scrambling to re-make the curl less "Jheri" and more importantly less wet and less juicy. Snake eyes! They crapped out. A day late and a dollar short on not listening to their consumers. If I could hold a mirror to consumers today with textured hair to the consumers of the "Jheri Curl" and they look identical physically, racially, ethnically, economically and hair texture wise. Just as they never went back to the "Jheri Curl" they are going to walk away from any and everything that reads: natural, healthy, women of color, mixed, bi-racial, Black and African American. 

"Success leaves clues," says the wise old New York Times best selling author, Jim Collins. Have you ever heard of a needle designed for "fat" people? A doctor would never use it. Have you ever heard of a "Mexican" dish prepared for "ethnic" people? A chef would never serve it. Have you ever heard of "soap" for "skinny" people? A dermatologist would not prescribe it. 

Our Somalian sister.

Remove race, the color of people, the image of people with textured hair from "natural" hair care and we'd be reminded of the beauty of diversity. 

The hands of time will never turn back to something that never existed or was. I'm gonna put it out there like Eddie Murphy did. I'm just gonna go ahead and type it. Textured hair is NOT a "BLACK thang." It is a textured hair thang. 

Different textures for different folks. It is true that textured hair has its roots in Africa. By the images I have inserted in this blog it is clear to see that ALL people from the CONTINENT of Africa do not have the AFRO hair. All people with textured hair are not Africans, African Americans, Black, Ethnic, Women of Color, Mixed, Bi-Racial, Exotic and so on. People with textured hair are just that, people with textured hair. I can tell you from a behind the chair experience that honestly people with textured hair prefer you work and teach them how to style and care for THEIR "unique hair fabric" as Philip Pelusi promotes. They do not want cosmetologists, hair stylists, hair care companies, natural hair people and everybody in between associating the color of the skin with what we THINK their textured hair should LOOK like. 

Still have doubts? "We all do not want the same thing," says Rhonda Byrne author of The Secret. Different textures on different folks.