The Golden Time of Day

Sandra to the right and her lovely daughter!

As a cosmetologist, I have to admit there are a few things that really make my day at work, for example punctual patrons, smiling patrons, patrons who refer and patrons who learn how to do their own hair. Are you surprised?

Upon becoming a cosmetologist I was surprised by the number of women who did not know how to do their own hair. But then I had to ask myself, “When did my mom turn me loose to my own hair?” I will not divulge that in this article, that would require me to write another one! Contrary to rumor, there are many women who do not know how to care for and style their own hair. Many with textured hair were forbidden by their fathers to cut it and mothers to even comb it. So the natural hair care phenomena that continues to ripple across the nation is ever increasing because for the first time women can stand up, speak out and declare what they really want. What many women want is to learn how to do it themselves.

I decided to make “learning how to style your own hair and debunking hair care myths” my business. I am the first to admit that I am not the best hair stylist but I am a great teacher full of information who is willing to share what I know to help liberate girls, teens, women and everyone in between. The ability to care for and style one’s hair is innate, but not a natural talent for most. I use my profession to teach women step by step what they need to do in between salon visits to ensure the hair that grows all day every day one is alive on the head stays there.

Let me refer to my subject, Sandra Golden. Sandra was the least likely client who desired to go natural let alone do her own hair. In the beginning, I start off by educating every client about their unique fabric. This part of my day at work is the most fascinating because so many women do not know their true hair fabric. And many truly believe their unique fabric is unique in a bad bondage suffering and punitive fabric. For many, as their hair stylist (next to Big Momma, Granny and so on), I was the first to tell them that their hair fabric is unique and beautiful just like themselves. So Sandra, like the others was quite flattered but not impressed; yet appreciative of my honesty.

Seligman and Pavlov's Salivating Dog Experiment

After months (for most years) of consistently un-doing all the bad and wrong information with the help of my colleagues, visual aids, hand-outs and books the transformation of “my hair is as beautiful as I am” begins. Next for Sandra and others I begin a gradual process of introducing them to their hair via touching it, combing and simply looking at their hair in the mirror. How fascinating is this for many. Sandra was in awe of how beautiful hair felt and looked. She could not find the words to decipher the difference between what she saw in the mirror to what she felt in real life. After that, the true concern of the cost of the salon visit. I always use this as my introduction as “the time” to let go of the relaxer. Convincing women to let go of the relaxer always reminds me of Martin E.P Seligman and Ivan Pavlov  “Pavlov’s Salivating Dog.” The learned helplessness theory is so prevalent in hair care for those with textured hair. Letting go of that relaxer is like when Pavlov opened that cage, the dog would not go out. The same can be said for letting go of the relaxer. Many women can now be free to be but for the love of hair; they will hold on to what they really want to let go of for so many reasons that  too would require another blog!

Sandra had one hundred excuses why she could not let go of the relaxer which would obviously free her time and money up to begin a small savings for the future and free her time from the salon to enjoy life doing other things. Her biggest and most real concern was the constant sweating brought on by the “M” word! Menopause and the other real concern, that she simply could not care for and do her own hair. So the next thing to do was to teach her how to live with her sweating and teach her how to style her own hair.

Now if ever there was a journey; this was it. For about six years Sandra toiled, tangled, fought and fussed her way to a love affair with her hair. I can recall countless times when Sandra longed for a simple was gray reduction color service that required a speedy and unique color application and walk out the door. Again for years, I would consistently tell her that is a very do-able salon visit, but visit after visit she would deny herself the opportunity to be free and walk out the "hair care bondage" cage like the Learned Helplessness Experiment and remained in the “hair care bondage” cage.

During the summer of 2011 Sandra finally gave in and began to attempt a few wash and wear hair styles. Did I mention she also traveled one fourth way across the state of Ohio for these unique fibers too! So, last week guess who walked into the salon, requested her gray reduction hair color service and walked out with four plats in her hair to take down later and wear it natural….Sandra!

I swear it was an “Oprah tearful” moment for me. I was so overjoyed that Sandra’s love affair with her hair turned into love of her hair. She walked out the freaking cage!  Pavlov don't have to ring that bell…LOL!

We all know every love and triumph story has a theme song somewhere playing in the background. Sandra Golden’s theme song would be The Goldent Time of Day by the legendary Maze featuring Frankie Beverly. A verse of the song goes, “People let me tell you there’s a time in your life when you find who you are; that’ the golden time of day. And in your mind you will find you’re a bright shining star; woo that’s the golden time of day…. and Frankie Beverly bellows out the song as Maze plays melodically alone. Can’t you picture Sandra cruising her car with the wind blowing through her hair as she peeps at herself in the side mirror blasting this song in the background?

So I write this blog in honor of Sandra Golden’s Time of Day.