Wait, Wonder & Pay

Wait!

How many times have you turned the television on to see a comedy skit about someone waiting in a salon for hair appointment with cobwebs growing on them? How many times have you tuned into our favorite radio show and the topic of the hour is about extensive waiting in hair salons across America?

Many women are fed up with waiting. A percentage has resolved to do it themselves, some have moved on to other salons where there is no waiting and there are still those who simply sit, complain and pay.

Like staying in a bad relationship, many have an ear full of excuses as to why they sit, complain and pay. Many have a familiar scenario of arriving to the salon on time with their iPad to kill some time until their name is called. Thirty minutes pass, they check the time on their iPad and keep reading the funny posts on Facebook. Forty minutes passes, another social network is being browsed and they are still waiting. Moments later they decide to ask the stylist how long before she will get started on their hair. The stylists smiles and responds, “Fifteen more minutes.” In the end, the fifteen more minutes has turned into thirty five more minutes. Approximately one hour and half after your arrival, your stylist has her assistant start your salon service.

As you lay back in the shampoo bowl to have your hair shampooed, you think to yourself, “Something about this feels all too familiar.” Is it a bad relationship or that awful cell phone contract you previously signed? You know, promising you something and not following through? What about, baiting you with something wonderful as you sign the agreement; only to be left void? Or how about getting all excited and anticipating something new; only to be disappointed with their mediocre tokens let downs and nothing. You question, are you being un-grateful? Are your expectations too high and so on and so forth?  As your stylist begins to blow dry your hair, you have an “Aha” moment! “Who waits,” is your incessant thoughts as you gently nod to yourself. Your stylist pauses and asks if you are okay. You respond, yes with the undertone of why wouldn’t you be? The stylist proceeds with the service, your hair looks magnificent. You pay her the money; thank her for the service and leave.

On the drive home, initially you want to call someone and tell them of yet another wretched salon visit as a result of waiting too long. You tap the end icon on phone’s screen and say to yourself. “If I can end a bad relationship that went awry and terminate a cell phone service based off of lies, empty promises and thrill-less frills; surely I can end this business relationship with my stylist who has very little respect for my time, sense of importance and hard earned dollars.” “I’m paying for speed and accuracy and that is what I expect.” At that pivotal moment, you know you will not be returning to that stylist and you have no reason why you will not let her know.

The scenario above is an all too familiar experience for many who visit hair salons. Many people have often referred the relationship with their stylist like one of a dysfunctional relationship and a bad cell phone contract. In the end, you conclude that you stayed in it (the business relationship with their stylist) too long. Many had crossed the lines of customer to stylist relationship by way of disclosing personal challenges and triumphs and lost focus of the business relationship that was in place due to monies being exchanged for services. “That's my girl,” became the unspoken contract between the stylist and their customer. For many as long as the hairstyle (man/relationship) was intact; all was well, right? Wrong.

As a licensed professional cosmetologist, I am often perplexed by cosmetologists that makes their paying, returning and referring customers wait. Where does my perplexity come from? Um, in case you did not know; cosmetology is a time conscious career. We need certain things to arrive, sit, develop, process and pay on something called….ahem, TIME! I urge you to attempt to not have payment in full at the end of that salon visit. Oh boy. It is like the Incredible Hulk. "Don't make me angry. You won't like me when I get angry!"

In the world of work, time, speed and accuracy is what gives work and pay value. The more you are on time, the faster you are, the more intelligent your application is to your job; more pay on time is expected. When a cosmetologist does your hair, they expect to be paid on time. And when you as the customer arrive; you expect to be seen on time because you are going to pay on time. Gone are the days of waiting. Everything is quick, instant and fast. Salon services are not exempt from what makes things worthy of their price tags. Rather it's a BMW, a cell phone or a credit card transaction; today timing, speed and accuracy is what gives things (expensive and inexpensive) value. Imagine waiting twenty seconds for a phone call to connect, or twenty five seconds for your computer to load, or thirty seconds for McDonald's to pass that Fish Filet through that window, oh and heavens to mercatroy if your debit card transactions takes longer than five seconds. The first thing that comes to a cosmetologist's (excuse me, a person's) mind is, "What, why is this taking so long?"

Wait, wonder and pay; who does that?

The Golden Time of Day

Sandra to the right and her lovely daughter!

As a cosmetologist, I have to admit there are a few things that really make my day at work, for example punctual patrons, smiling patrons, patrons who refer and patrons who learn how to do their own hair. Are you surprised?

Upon becoming a cosmetologist I was surprised by the number of women who did not know how to do their own hair. But then I had to ask myself, “When did my mom turn me loose to my own hair?” I will not divulge that in this article, that would require me to write another one! Contrary to rumor, there are many women who do not know how to care for and style their own hair. Many with textured hair were forbidden by their fathers to cut it and mothers to even comb it. So the natural hair care phenomena that continues to ripple across the nation is ever increasing because for the first time women can stand up, speak out and declare what they really want. What many women want is to learn how to do it themselves.

I decided to make “learning how to style your own hair and debunking hair care myths” my business. I am the first to admit that I am not the best hair stylist but I am a great teacher full of information who is willing to share what I know to help liberate girls, teens, women and everyone in between. The ability to care for and style one’s hair is innate, but not a natural talent for most. I use my profession to teach women step by step what they need to do in between salon visits to ensure the hair that grows all day every day one is alive on the head stays there.

Let me refer to my subject, Sandra Golden. Sandra was the least likely client who desired to go natural let alone do her own hair. In the beginning, I start off by educating every client about their unique fabric. This part of my day at work is the most fascinating because so many women do not know their true hair fabric. And many truly believe their unique fabric is unique in a bad bondage suffering and punitive fabric. For many, as their hair stylist (next to Big Momma, Granny and so on), I was the first to tell them that their hair fabric is unique and beautiful just like themselves. So Sandra, like the others was quite flattered but not impressed; yet appreciative of my honesty.

Seligman and Pavlov's Salivating Dog Experiment

After months (for most years) of consistently un-doing all the bad and wrong information with the help of my colleagues, visual aids, hand-outs and books the transformation of “my hair is as beautiful as I am” begins. Next for Sandra and others I begin a gradual process of introducing them to their hair via touching it, combing and simply looking at their hair in the mirror. How fascinating is this for many. Sandra was in awe of how beautiful hair felt and looked. She could not find the words to decipher the difference between what she saw in the mirror to what she felt in real life. After that, the true concern of the cost of the salon visit. I always use this as my introduction as “the time” to let go of the relaxer. Convincing women to let go of the relaxer always reminds me of Martin E.P Seligman and Ivan Pavlov  “Pavlov’s Salivating Dog.” The learned helplessness theory is so prevalent in hair care for those with textured hair. Letting go of that relaxer is like when Pavlov opened that cage, the dog would not go out. The same can be said for letting go of the relaxer. Many women can now be free to be but for the love of hair; they will hold on to what they really want to let go of for so many reasons that  too would require another blog!

Sandra had one hundred excuses why she could not let go of the relaxer which would obviously free her time and money up to begin a small savings for the future and free her time from the salon to enjoy life doing other things. Her biggest and most real concern was the constant sweating brought on by the “M” word! Menopause and the other real concern, that she simply could not care for and do her own hair. So the next thing to do was to teach her how to live with her sweating and teach her how to style her own hair.

Now if ever there was a journey; this was it. For about six years Sandra toiled, tangled, fought and fussed her way to a love affair with her hair. I can recall countless times when Sandra longed for a simple was gray reduction color service that required a speedy and unique color application and walk out the door. Again for years, I would consistently tell her that is a very do-able salon visit, but visit after visit she would deny herself the opportunity to be free and walk out the "hair care bondage" cage like the Learned Helplessness Experiment and remained in the “hair care bondage” cage.

During the summer of 2011 Sandra finally gave in and began to attempt a few wash and wear hair styles. Did I mention she also traveled one fourth way across the state of Ohio for these unique fibers too! So, last week guess who walked into the salon, requested her gray reduction hair color service and walked out with four plats in her hair to take down later and wear it natural….Sandra!

I swear it was an “Oprah tearful” moment for me. I was so overjoyed that Sandra’s love affair with her hair turned into love of her hair. She walked out the freaking cage!  Pavlov don't have to ring that bell…LOL!

We all know every love and triumph story has a theme song somewhere playing in the background. Sandra Golden’s theme song would be The Goldent Time of Day by the legendary Maze featuring Frankie Beverly. A verse of the song goes, “People let me tell you there’s a time in your life when you find who you are; that’ the golden time of day. And in your mind you will find you’re a bright shining star; woo that’s the golden time of day…. and Frankie Beverly bellows out the song as Maze plays melodically alone. Can’t you picture Sandra cruising her car with the wind blowing through her hair as she peeps at herself in the side mirror blasting this song in the background?

So I write this blog in honor of Sandra Golden’s Time of Day.