The Golden Time of Day

Sandra to the right and her lovely daughter!

As a cosmetologist, I have to admit there are a few things that really make my day at work, for example punctual patrons, smiling patrons, patrons who refer and patrons who learn how to do their own hair. Are you surprised?

Upon becoming a cosmetologist I was surprised by the number of women who did not know how to do their own hair. But then I had to ask myself, “When did my mom turn me loose to my own hair?” I will not divulge that in this article, that would require me to write another one! Contrary to rumor, there are many women who do not know how to care for and style their own hair. Many with textured hair were forbidden by their fathers to cut it and mothers to even comb it. So the natural hair care phenomena that continues to ripple across the nation is ever increasing because for the first time women can stand up, speak out and declare what they really want. What many women want is to learn how to do it themselves.

I decided to make “learning how to style your own hair and debunking hair care myths” my business. I am the first to admit that I am not the best hair stylist but I am a great teacher full of information who is willing to share what I know to help liberate girls, teens, women and everyone in between. The ability to care for and style one’s hair is innate, but not a natural talent for most. I use my profession to teach women step by step what they need to do in between salon visits to ensure the hair that grows all day every day one is alive on the head stays there.

Let me refer to my subject, Sandra Golden. Sandra was the least likely client who desired to go natural let alone do her own hair. In the beginning, I start off by educating every client about their unique fabric. This part of my day at work is the most fascinating because so many women do not know their true hair fabric. And many truly believe their unique fabric is unique in a bad bondage suffering and punitive fabric. For many, as their hair stylist (next to Big Momma, Granny and so on), I was the first to tell them that their hair fabric is unique and beautiful just like themselves. So Sandra, like the others was quite flattered but not impressed; yet appreciative of my honesty.

Seligman and Pavlov's Salivating Dog Experiment

After months (for most years) of consistently un-doing all the bad and wrong information with the help of my colleagues, visual aids, hand-outs and books the transformation of “my hair is as beautiful as I am” begins. Next for Sandra and others I begin a gradual process of introducing them to their hair via touching it, combing and simply looking at their hair in the mirror. How fascinating is this for many. Sandra was in awe of how beautiful hair felt and looked. She could not find the words to decipher the difference between what she saw in the mirror to what she felt in real life. After that, the true concern of the cost of the salon visit. I always use this as my introduction as “the time” to let go of the relaxer. Convincing women to let go of the relaxer always reminds me of Martin E.P Seligman and Ivan Pavlov  “Pavlov’s Salivating Dog.” The learned helplessness theory is so prevalent in hair care for those with textured hair. Letting go of that relaxer is like when Pavlov opened that cage, the dog would not go out. The same can be said for letting go of the relaxer. Many women can now be free to be but for the love of hair; they will hold on to what they really want to let go of for so many reasons that  too would require another blog!

Sandra had one hundred excuses why she could not let go of the relaxer which would obviously free her time and money up to begin a small savings for the future and free her time from the salon to enjoy life doing other things. Her biggest and most real concern was the constant sweating brought on by the “M” word! Menopause and the other real concern, that she simply could not care for and do her own hair. So the next thing to do was to teach her how to live with her sweating and teach her how to style her own hair.

Now if ever there was a journey; this was it. For about six years Sandra toiled, tangled, fought and fussed her way to a love affair with her hair. I can recall countless times when Sandra longed for a simple was gray reduction color service that required a speedy and unique color application and walk out the door. Again for years, I would consistently tell her that is a very do-able salon visit, but visit after visit she would deny herself the opportunity to be free and walk out the "hair care bondage" cage like the Learned Helplessness Experiment and remained in the “hair care bondage” cage.

During the summer of 2011 Sandra finally gave in and began to attempt a few wash and wear hair styles. Did I mention she also traveled one fourth way across the state of Ohio for these unique fibers too! So, last week guess who walked into the salon, requested her gray reduction hair color service and walked out with four plats in her hair to take down later and wear it natural….Sandra!

I swear it was an “Oprah tearful” moment for me. I was so overjoyed that Sandra’s love affair with her hair turned into love of her hair. She walked out the freaking cage!  Pavlov don't have to ring that bell…LOL!

We all know every love and triumph story has a theme song somewhere playing in the background. Sandra Golden’s theme song would be The Goldent Time of Day by the legendary Maze featuring Frankie Beverly. A verse of the song goes, “People let me tell you there’s a time in your life when you find who you are; that’ the golden time of day. And in your mind you will find you’re a bright shining star; woo that’s the golden time of day…. and Frankie Beverly bellows out the song as Maze plays melodically alone. Can’t you picture Sandra cruising her car with the wind blowing through her hair as she peeps at herself in the side mirror blasting this song in the background?

So I write this blog in honor of Sandra Golden’s Time of Day.

A Curl's Gotta Do What a Curl's Gotta Do

Oh no, not again!

 Don’t you just love when you finally get to go on a date with someone you have been attracted to for quite some time? In your mind, you imagine exactly how the date will go. You get off work, you decide you are not going to dress up and put on airs. Instead, he has to like you as you are, so do a little wiggle to fit into your tight but not so tight jeans, a little cleavage, nice silver hoops, a little trunk jewelry, light on the make-up, heavy on the eyeliner and not too glossy on the lip gloss. Oh yeah a nice spritz of Viktor & Rolf’s Flowerbomb. Now all you have to do is freshen up your….WTF!

Say it ain’t so. Of all days, your hair once again does the “not act right” thing. Unfortunately, it would be on the night of thee date. You look in the mirror in disgust. This is not a night for your straight hair to begin to frizz and convert back. What is a curl to do? Well don’t cancel the date; continue to read this blog

When it comes to textured hair; it is very unpredictable and unmanageable naturally. Textured hair comes in 4 different types; curly, wavy, kinky and afro. After I share some common mistakes made with textured hair, I will provide some solutions that (with practice) will provide some practical solutions and keep you smooth for a date and any other occassion.

First things first, many people truly believe curly, wavy, kinky and Afro textures are the same. Often times beauty editors, parents and even licensed professionals confuse the varying textures. They simply clump them into one category. With that being addressed, let me make this abundantly clear; in no way shape, form or fashion are curly, wavy, kinky and afro textures of hair are the same. 

If you have read my some of my other blogs, then you are aware that I always educate my readers that hair is skin. So, just as you purchase your skin care products according to your skin types; oily, dry, aging, acne or combination. You should do the same for your hair. This may seem unrealistic, but in reality that is the best way to make the right purchase and get the best bang for your buck. Wording on the products helps you make the best choice. Remember the companies are trying to sell you something; as a result the wording can be misleading. Words like “natural hair,” “women of color,” “textured hair” and the likes confuse anxious and frustrated consumers. Buyer beware; every person of color do not have the same hair. Race, a la’ the color of your skin contributes to the texture of your hair. However, it is not the determining factor. Your genetics are. Do not fall for the okey doke! As a result, be sure to read the bottle first. Do not be tricked by fancy marketing that have catch words and savvy photos.

Second, in case you did not know, when a chemist formulates a product for hair; the last thing on his mind is the color of the person’s skin. The same can be said for the makers of soap and toothpaste. Any soap will clean skin, just as any toothpaste will clean teeth. The trick is when specific issues are in demand; you will have to make your product selection more refined. Folks in the marketing business goal are to make that refined selection process quick and easy. So that is when the hair care companies fancy marketing, photo shoots, promotional campaigns and advertising comes into play. Chemists formulate and the owners of the formulation/product make the product have what I call, “sales appeal.” The primary function of any hair care company is to make money. So once the chemist does his thing; he gets his paycheck and he is gone. Understand; that all hair care companies are not created equal.

Third, now that you are aware of the game, a consultation to get the right analysis of your hair’s texture is order. Make an appointment with your stylist to receive a detailed consultation to find out your hair’s unique fabric. Be leery of a cosmetologist who simply looks at your hair, pick a piece out and tell you that you have coarse hair. Coarse is another word that is used generically like textured, natural, ethnic and women of color. The term Coarse used to describe a file or fabric is very different from the definition of Coarse used in the world of cosmetology. Coarse means strong as in strength; not as in texture.

Fourth, styling with the right product and the right technique makes a hell of a difference. With practice, curly, wavy, kinky and Afro hair needs to be shampooed at least once every 4 to 9 days. This texture of hair does not need to be shampooed as frequently as straight hair. The more curly, wavy, kinky and Afro hair is shampooed, the dryer is will be. The dryer the hair; the more it will convert, swell and make poof happen! Pomades and oils work best with these hair textures versus serums, silicones and spray oils. So, start by adding dime size amounts at a time to reduce unwanted oily weighed down tresses. If long lasting straight hair is what you truly desire; a lot of heat will be needed to tame those curl, wave, and kink and Afro fibers. Yes, that is right. 430-450 degrees of heat will ensure that the hair will not convert back. If enough pomade or oil is added, hair will stay straight until it is shampooed out. In case you are wondering what kind of oils, to keep from having to read another blog…lol; I recommend any food grade oil (yes, the kind you eat) in a dime size amount. As for pomades, I recommend any vintage brand such as NuNile, Sweet Georgia Brown and Ultra Sheen’s Yellow Pressing Pomade to name a few. Be sure to flat iron your hair in 1/8^th inch sections. Do not even tempt or cheat by using larger sections. If you do, your hair will convert back. Comb your hair frequently throughout the day to reduce swelling and frizz.

A quick recap, if you are unsure of the correct texture and type of hair you have; get a professional consultation, refrain from making hair care purchases according to your race, be sure the wording on the bottle describes your hair texture and type, keep it clean, use a pomade versus a serum, use very hot flat irons, smooth small sections and comb your hair frequently throughout the day. 

Will that guarantee that your curly, wavy, kinky or Afro tresses will not convert back? Maybe, maybe not. But then and again, a curl’s gotta do what a curl’s gotta do!