Don't Touch My Hair

Romance is to be enjoyed!

There have been many plays and movies about African American women and their hair. Movie's such as B.A.P.S, Poetic Justice, The Beauty Shop, Legally Blonde and Don't Mess with the Zohan do not quite capture the reality of African American women and the relationship they have with their hair like Chris Rock's 2009 documentary, “Good Hair”. While he caught a lot of flack, I thought he did a great job. But, the scenes that brought it all home were the ones where he captured high profile actresses such as Nia Long, Raven Simone, Lauren London and a few other notables expressing their discontent with their significant others who touch their hair during intimacy. In the infamous word of the cartoon character Snagglepus, "Heavens to murgatroid!"

After that scene, I had to go back to the salon and question the validity of such jibberish. Could it be so? Are African American women nation wide sacrificing intimacy for their hair? After a series of questions and conversations going, I got mixed responses. The bulk of the customer revealed a resounding, yes!

Ladies, ladies, ladies. At the end of the day it is just hair. Truth be told there are not many hair styles that are romance proof. Most hair styles have to be re-done to a small degree depending on the intricacy of the style, the strength (fine, medium or coarse) of hair and the texture (curly, kinky, wavy or straight) of hair. If the hair stylist is proficient, practical, skilled and honest; they will coif your hair properly and all will be fine. So what is the best way to determine the value of a hair style and its longevity as it relates to romance?

It is simple. The value of a hair style lies in your ability to recreate the look at home. Which look? There are too many to fit in this article. It is best to invest in hairstyle that you can duplicate and leave the fancy hair styles to the red carpet and other special occasions. For the record hair is skin; and like skin hair is typically touched. To don a hair style that your loved one can not touch, run their fingers through or stroke in some capacity quite naturally minimizes the power of intimacy. 

Instead of fretting over your hair, be practical and realistic. As hairstylists, part of our job is to actually teach you how to recreate your hair style. Keep in mind on your next salon visit, what you do not know how to do, ask your stylist to teach you. Being a slave to a hair style versus your love life provides two vast experiences in the world of intimacy. After all, there are much better things to do and say during romance besides, “Don’t touch my hair.”