Up In Smoke

As a writer, I'm really liking this blogging thing. I find it pretty cool. It is like writing an essay and the readers are your teachers. Readers give you feedback. Good, bad or indifferent; many have much to say about what you write and of course, how you write. Nothing beats the feedback from my grammar Nazis who informs me when I have a grammar faux pas. 

one day.....

So while blogging connects me with many wonderful inquiring readers from near and far via the internet, believe it or not it also connects me with some in real life! Nothing makes anybody feel more cool than being spotted or questioned as to who they are like, "you famous" or something. It rarely happens to me. But 'er now and then, I will be out in the public and someone will say, "Hey aren't you..." And I gets to blushing, smiling, hand gesturing and all that jive. Well, a few weeks ago, it happened again. I was in the store and this woman was looking over in my direction. I don't know about you, but I can feel when someone is staring at me. So, I looked in her directions a few times. Before I knew it, she was tapping me. She said, "I know you don't know me, but I follow you on all of your social media and I think you are pretty cool. I like what you are doing helping us common folk with our hair." I smiled and said, "Alrighty there! I appreciate you." Then she went into the famous, "I hate to bother you while you are shopping, but..." 

You know me, I am the queen of loquaciousness. Did someone say talk? If you think I can write. You should here me talk. Girlaaaaaah! "Shoot," I replied. She went on to explain her discontent with her hair stylist. She was frustrated that her hair styles were not lasting. She felt her hair was limp and dull. She also asked me touch her hair because it felt like it was coated with something. So, what's a wanna be celebrity blogger turned Children's book author to do? Oblige her. 

After I did my "in store in between the clearance section at TJ Maxx (yes, I'm a a Maxanista) consultation," I responded, "Do you smoke?" She bashfully replied, "Well yes, but I am trying to stop."

Ok, let's pause for the cause. This blog is not in any fashion an attempt to put down smokers of any kind. If you want to smoke or like smoking what ever it is that you smoke, it is most certainly your prerogative. But. I know there is always a but. But understand, that I am aware that smoking soothes, calms, relieves, helps, replaces, in lieu of and so on for many. Just understand that aside from the obvious physical and mental side affects smoking has on the body and person, let's go there about what it does to hair and skin. 

As much as I want to drag this blog out with facts, data and research, I ain't. I'm gonna cut through that ( as much as I don't want to) and shoot straight from the hip. Stop. Stop smoking. Smoking is so awful on hair. All smokers are aware of the film smoke leaves on any surface. They are also aware of stench it leaves in your clothes, hair and breath. Right? They also know that no amount of perfume, deodorizer, or air cleaner will remove the odor of smoking. Ok, so I'll type it again. Stop. Stop smoking because the film that it leaves on your hair is not easily removed with shampoo. Shampoos are primarily formulated to remove oil, dirt, a small degree of hair product build up, flakes and slight odors. As for films, heavily coated hair, excessively flaking hair, pasty scalps, scaly scalps, they will never work. They will clean the obvious, but that is about it. 

If you insist.

In the case of this young lady concerns about her hair, the film left behind on her hair from smoking is the culprit to all what she did not like about her hair. She hated the reality that her hair did not shine, it was dull, limp, thinning, lacked volume, would not hold a style and it felt funny. Her expression, did not change much when I asked if she smoked. I am of the understanding she is aware of the impact smoking has on her hair. I am certain she was not of the understanding that it is NOT her hair stylist fault. 

Hair stylists are not magicians. We can only work with the hair fabric you enter the salon with. If the hair fabric is good, you will have a good hair style. If the fabric is compromised...well. Compromised, damaged unhealthy, fragile, over processed, under processed and unkempt hair fabrics takes just as much time as it does money to repair. Understand, the time and money is NOT spent in the salon. No hunty. That time and money will be spent at home. Hair styles and treatments are for the moment. After the moment, it's all back on you. You know kinda like talking to the nutritionist about weight concerns. They can give you great meal planning ideas and recipes. Tell you what stores to shop at and where to buy those cute lil' containers. They can even tell you how and what to cook it on. But after that, it's on you. 

Hair care and hair styling starts at home with what you put or what you do not put into your body. Give your hair the life you want it to have so it can look and feel the way you want it to look. You know? Just like your body. 

As much as I knew she was looking for the magic answer with the magic hair care product and the very magical hair stylist who could fix it like Jesus. I also knew that she intuitively knew that like Jesus, only she could sincerely fix it. 

Ok now...

Your hair is an extension of you in ever facet. Socially, emotionally, financially, culturally, spiritually and physically; your hair reflects all of that. Do not dupe yourself, do not remove yourself from you. Your hair is truly as alive as you are. And while we can do many things to enhance or change what we like or dislike about our hair, ultimately the ownness is on you. Of all the things you can do to enhance or change about your hair; do it. But whatever you do, don't blow it up in smoke. 

Remember the surgeon general and yo momma been warning you about that smoking for quite some time. Go ahead make your day and give #stopsmoking a try. It won't kill you. It will make your hair look nice though!

The Mind of Hair Care

Hmmm, the mind of hair care.

Blogging about hair care is a lot of fun. I get to share my experiences about providing hair, nail and skin care. I also get to meet some fascinating people who often times ask me some very interesting questions. As a matter of fact, I think it is the questions that keeps me blogging. And the question that keeps me blogging the most is, how to care for hair.

I must admit, I do find it somewhat of an enigma of how so many women are looking for ways to not have to care for their hair. There are also a large portion of women who also want to know how spend the least amount of time caring for it. The questions of " no hair care, limited hair care or quick hair care" is something of a conundrum oxymoron. Confusing, huh? 

The truth of the matter is, "quick hair care" is like using mouthwash instead of taking the time to effectively care for your teeth. "Quick hair care" is like washing your private parts in lieu of a shower or bath. Exactly what is the conundrum of a oxymoron that makes the quest of "quick hair care" confusing and problematic? Well, it's the word "care." I don't know about you, but to me the word "care" kind of, sort of implies a person who has time to show it. 

A person trying to remove themselves from the equation of hair care is headed for a quick way to a bad hairstyle. I teach every person I serve that when it comes to hair care, they have to do what the hair calls for. There are textures that require very little time to care for it and very little effort to do what it takes to make it look nice. Then there are textures that require more time and more things for you to do to make you look nice. Whatever the case, rather your hair requires a lot of maintenance or not; what it really translate into is how nice to you really want to look and what are you willing to do about it.

Real life hair

The mind of "hair care" is somehow separating you from understanding the very crucial connection you have to doing your hair and how that affects your TOTAL image. Image to many women is very perplexing. The best way for me to produce a beautiful hairstyle for the clients I serve is for me to get a clear picture of their definition of image and NOT a hairstyle. For what is a hairstyle without image? The best way for me to capture what they have in mind is to have them either bring in a picture or select a picture out of a magazine/internet of what they would like. It is during that process that I can begin to capture THEIR mind of hair care. 

When women look at pictures of hairstyles or they begin to graphically explain the hairstyle they want, what they are in fact is selecting or describing is a what I call a "total image." A total image encompasses a total look that is put together by way of fashion, facial care (that includes a spectrum of facial care that is very made up to no make up at all), accessories and attitude that goes with the environment they are currently living in or going to (i.e. work, date, court, red carpet and the likes). However, the disconnect happens when in their mind, they focus on "hair style."

Confidence is beauty

For example, the myriad of hairstyles worn by Halle Berry are often the hairstyles that many women choose. When I ask them what is it about the hairstyle they like, they do verbally point out the layers, or the curl or the part. But when I point out what really makes the haircut is the stylist ability to mesh together all what makes Halle so very Halle.

The truth of the matter is, I have rarely seen a case of a hairstyle, in any facet, that is primarily based on the hairstyle itself. Hair, like jewelry or a scarf, is an accessory. It is part of the total package of one's definition of well kempt. When you think of hair care, think of your total image. Do not separate your hairstyle from you and your image and what you need to do to bring about a desired image. Instead, I suggest you consider bringing together YOURSELF, your hygiene, your hairstyle, your image and your attitude to give you the hairstyle you really want. 

In other words be very deliberate knowing the power that flow, continuity and inclusiveness has to do with the entire scope of the hairstyle that you think will make you pretty. You can not have any part of a beautiful anything, without you.

To rid yourself of this dilemma, understand that the hairstyle alone will not make you pretty. Refrain from going to the hair salon to "get yo hair done." It is a combination of all of you in the mind of hair care. 

Thee oh so very, Ms. Halle Berry

It will take more than a TJ Maxxinista outfit, designer shoes, a Michael Kors purse, an iPhone and some Sephora lip gloss to make that hair cut and style like Halle Berry's. Go the extra mile. Give yourself a facial, put on a smile. suck your gut in and stand up a little bit taller. Get rid of the frown and angst from the trials and tribulations of life. Our beauty inspires others and more importantly it inspires you. If you do not like what you see in the mirror, change it.

The mind of hair care is that the hairstyle is not the cure-all to what you do not like about your hair or want to do with it.

You are!