Momma Said...

The interesting thing about being a hairstylist is the number of questions I get asked on a daily basis about how I chose cosmetology as a profession. The other questions I get asked a lot, is how did I learn to do hair and who influenced me? 

Choosing cosmetology as a profession was influenced by a career in social work. How did I learn to do hair? My sister made sure I learned how to do hair by refusing to ever to do my hair again! Yes, that is funny to me too.Why did my sister stopped stopped doing my hair? My sister always did my hair. I never did my hair. One day when I was 17 years old, I asked my sister to do my hair as we were getting ready for school. She replied, "No. If you think that I am going to do your hair for the rest of your life, you are mistaken!" I was verklempt. I actually clutched my imaginary pearls. Whatever was I to do? Burn my hair out. My sister looked at me, shook her head and walked out the bathroom laughing! That day began the long burning grind of learning how to do my own hair. Bah humbug was my sentiment.

Who influenced me? My mama! The 70's R&B group, The Intruders sang it best, "I'll always love my mama. She's my favorite girl. I'll always love my mama she brought me in this world."

My mother was a practical mother. Considering May is the month we honor mothers, I thought this post in my blog would be befittingly appropriate. You see my mother was of the mindset of no excuses. She had no filter on doing what needed to be done. She believed, do what needs to be done, and do it with passion. Her favorite saying was, "If you're going to do something. Do it right or got dammit don't do it at all." She was very serious about putting your best foot forward. She felt that foot should stick out in style and that you should smile as you hold your head high. No Debbie Downers in our home. As the official inventor of reality therapy, my mother proudly takes credit for promoting and trailblazing what it means to live life on the terms you create. She would say, "Ladosha, don't write no check yo behind can't cash. Everyone knows the value of phony people with their phony ways." So be a woman of your words and be sure you look the part. Yes, that mother of mine is what I would call a pistol. I do wish physically she was here. But, that is okay. Her energy is eternal and I feel it daily.

So, in the spirit of my mother's bold statement on reality and the consequences that go with those choices we make in reality, I write this blog in her honor on the things she told me about hair and caring for it. Enjoy.

Drum roll, please...

1. The image is everything. Keep your hair combed and don't share your comb. 

2. If your hair is dirty, you know what else is dirty? Keep your hair clean. 

3. Wearing your hair natural does not translate into unkempt hair.

4. Your hair is a unique fabric, the cut compliments the fabric.

5. Stop putting all that crap in your hair. 

6. You have hair like your father. Keep it combed!

7. In our family, we don't answer the door with uncombed hair. Honor our ways.

8. Your hair should not compete with your clothes, shoes and nails. These things must flow.

9. It is not about how much hair you have, it is about caring for the hair that you have.

10. Your hair is your crown and glory.

Can you dig it? Those are the things I remember most from my mother about hair. Those are her opinions. Many of them influence how I do hair, whose hair I do hair and why. Many of them also explain why I do hair with love and compassion. Her mother wit, is what fuels my desire to teach everyone how to do their own hair. I agree, that people should put their best foot forward in their own unique style.

As a cosmetologist, I do not want to limit my service to a hairstyle for the moment. Oh no, I want to impact, influence and help each customer who will allow me to far beyond that chair! My job is not to "do hair." My job is to serve people who have hair or no hair. In serving those people, I want them to love themselves unconditionally. Taking care of self is an important display of self love. Caring for and styling your hair is one of many ways to do this.

Hair care is as private as all other hygiene routines. It is not about what people think of you and your hair. The will talk anyway. It is about your willingness to open your mind to the alternatives that promote the health and beauty of your hair and image. Your hair is one aspect of your physical appearance. It is not a cure all to the image. It is also a part of the mental, spiritual, cultural you.

Make the time to take the time to get to know you and your hair. 

If you are inspired by the passion fueled by mom's thoughts on hair and you live in the greater Cleveland area, then I invite you, your family, your friends and your children to my very first book signing of my children's book titled "Curly Hair Adventures." I will be at the downtown main branch of the Cleveland Public Library between 2-4 pm on Saturday May 27th, 2017. This event is free to the public. I hope to see you there. Yes children and all are welcomed.

In conclusion, when it comes to you and your hair, mom always said, "Good, better, best. Never let it rest. Until your good is better and your better is best."

"Mmm, talkin' bout Momma. I'll always love my momma...." (in my Intruders singing voice).

Black Hair Care

"Have you forgotten that once we were brought here, we were robbed of our name, robbed of our language. We lost our religion, our culture, our god...and many of us, by the way we act, we even lost our minds" is the quote so eloquently spoken by the late Khalid Muhammad on Public Enemy's track "Night of the Living Basehead"  from their album, "It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold us Back."

In this blog Ndogo, I too ask, "Have we lost our minds?"

What has taken place in hair care when people are in constant pursuit of hair styles and hair care practices that are not their own? What has taken place in hair care when something called a "natural" hair care movement is not moving? After all, if it grows from your scalp it is natural. Why are people going for this? Why are reports reflecting that Black women contribute every dollar to the billion dollar hair care industry that we only profit millions from? Why when their schools of cosmetology only include Black or White mannequins with straight hair to make curly? Why are people trying to tame the Afro? Why are people not wanting to care for the Afro? Why are people demanding acceptance of textured hair that has no choice but to be accepted? Why are people wanting a hairstyle that they can sleep on, wake up and do nothing to it? Why is it a Black, cultural or ethnic thing? Why is textured hair segregated from hair? Why do we have "ethnic" hair care aisles and hair care stores to shop from and they have "hair" care aisles hair care stores to shop from?

Answering these questions and talking about textured hair is far more taboo and dangerous than discussing AIDS, ISIS, cancer, trigonometry or debt and taxes. Why? Slavery. 

The beginning of bad hair care.

Yes, slavery. The effects of slavery are real in present day America. And no place is the effects of slavery more pronounced than in hair. The varying textures of hair in America is an overt admission everybody's connection to one another by way of physical and mental abuse at the hands of White slave owners. Nobody wants to go there. But, "there" is where we are! Somebody is going to have to admit that White men raped black women here in America. Somebody is going to have to admit that White men have always liked, loved and lusted after women of color before and during slavery. Somebody is going to have to admit that the varying hair textures are speaking. Textured hair says, Alkebulan; it says, "Africa!" Depending on your age or viewership, who can recall in 1977 when ABC-TV first aired "Roots?" Who can recall when Kunta Kinte was brought here in chains? Who can forget that savage vicious beating given to him from Massa to say his name was not longer Kunta Kinte, but Toby. We all watched as he was robbed of his name. He was robbed of his language. He lost his religion, his culture, His God...and he even lost his mind?" You know what else sticks out from that savage beating as he hung from the chains? His hair!  

As a cosmetologist, I witness first hand the impact of a "Kunta Kinte" beating via the loss of minds on thousands of predominantly African American and biracial miseducated and uneducated females as it relates to their hair. Many are not aware that their hair care practices and hair style desires. They have no clue as to why? They do not know why they wish to be tangle free. They do not know why they pray to the de-frizzing the Afro god to not make their hair so puffy. They beg to straighten the curls. They cry to curl the straight. Yell to lighten the black and fuss to darken the blonde. 

It all is a direct result of slavery. The slave owners were relentless in their pursuit to take away from us everything they could. This is not a perspective. This is a fact. And when a sect of Blacks displayed no desire to have anything to do with the imagery and care of hair like Whites, the Whites did not like that either. Black people would allow their textured hair to do what it would do naturally when it was not combed; lock. The Whites were so appalled, they called that hairstyle "dreadful." Hence, the phrase "dreadlocks." Umph, the nerve of them.

The impact of slavery is real. It can not get any more live and direct than KRS-One on stage at a hip-hop concert. No, my dears; the struggle is not real. There is no struggle when it comes to hair care for anyone of any race with any kind of texture on their hair. There is no struggle when many with textured hair search the internet for hours in search of a quick-fix to cleaning their textured hair or an easier method to styling their textured hair. There is no struggle when mothers want their daughters to automatically know how to care for their hair without allowing their daughter to share mirror and hygiene time with them in the bathroom/bedroom to show them how to do it. There is no real struggle when little boys know the intricate details of their mother's weave application. These little boys know where their mother's buy the hair from and at what cost. There certainly is no struggle when those with textured hair no longer want to even clean it. Instead, they want to replace soap with conditioners, oils or just plain old water. 

The movement?

Something is terribly wrong when a person convinces others of a movement in hair care called, "natural." Hair naturally grows from the scalp. Everybody knows that. Yet they are paying and watching to be told again. Something is terribly wrong when people profess to be doctors of trichology when it is clearly a certification for anyone who wants to pay for one. Something is wrong when consumers turn to YouTube for help with their hair as they sit in the waiting room of a hair salon to pay a hair stylist to do their hair. What is worse? When the hair stylist knows it. Something is wrong when the hairstylist gets angry with the customer for going to another salon. Something is wrong when the hairstylist demands full control of the customer's hair based on a school of thought called, "I have my license and you don't." No, my dear, this is not a movement or revolution. This is-Is. This is propaganda. This is learned helplessness. Not wanting to care for your hair is either a dislike of self, your hair or what it takes to care for and style your hair. Rather it is propaganda or learned helplessness; a dislike of self, hair or a dislike of what it takes to care for or style it; it all stems from slavery. 

To enslave a person, the slave master must physically and mentally hold and lock away a person as they rob that person of their identity and the connections to their identity. Upon being brought to the Americas in the 1600's, Africans were immediately robbed of both. The first thing slave owners did was physically maim and shave the heads of both women and men for one reason and one reason only; so they could not identify each other. 

Who's you daddy now?

White people had no such order in their culture. You see, our (Africans) hairstyles spoke. Of what, you ask? Our braided, wrapped, shaved, and locked hair spoke directly to our location in Africa and our position within a tribe. White people had no such order, pride and association within their culture. So what did they do to copy the Africans? Wigs. A la Louis the what's his name and ye old founding father, first president of the United States and lover of Black women, George Washington.  

To truly address textured hair, we are gonna have to address more than phenotypes, evolution theories and anatomy. It will require a level of awakening that only a rare few will want to see and explore in the 5th dimension.

We started this thing called "beauty."

Prior to slavery, only the deranged and grieved were excused for not combing their hair. Africans prided themselves in the varying cleaning, beautifying and grooming practices. The ancient practices of milk baths, hot oils, cocoa, shea and coconut butter, wig making, use of sea salts, earth salts, crystals, essential oils, plant and herb extracts and the use of clay from the earth to purify skin were all practices that were discovered and utilized by the Africans from all over before slavery was even a thought in the oppressors imagination. These cleaning, beautifying and grooming practices were passed down from generation to generation. Upon arriving in the America's, Africans were not allowed to wash, bath and clothe themselves. They were not allowed to do so until they were mentally and physically broken from their emotional, spiritual, cultural and physical ties to their culture.

By the time the slave owners and White America decided to allow us to do and show our hair; the effects of not being able to comb it and simply care for it had compromised the self-esteem and self-worth of millions of Black women and textured hair women for generations to come. Today, we are descendants of those enslaved. Some of us are descendants of those who were able to remember and pass down practices of hair care and hair styling; while some of us were not.

Today, there are many Africans and African Americans who live the tradition of kempt hair. I was brought up in a home who practiced the custom of knowing who was from whose family according to the style of their hair as our foremothers did prior to slavery. When I was a kid, I could walk into a home or store and often here someone say, "You must be Dean's daughter, your hair is always combed, neat and pretty!" or "You must be Ms. Louise grandbaby, cuz yo hair sure is pretty." I was brought up in a home where we were not allowed to answer the door if our hair was not combed. There were no terms of endearment for hair. Terms such as, "good hair, nice texture or baby hair" were not used. Instead, I was brought up, "Hair is good if you treat it good by way of cleaning it, combing it, braiding it or simply having it styled." 

What a euphemistic way to apologize for slavery.

Racism continues to be the scene stealer of slavery. We cover up and deny the generational and societal effects of slavery by blaming everything on racism. Naw bruh, no one is falling for the okey doke. The effects of slavery in America is real. You don't think so? Do not look at the color of a person's skin.  Do not look at their gender or religion. Do not look up their zip code. Forget about how much money they make. Just look at their hair; your hair. Rather you want to remember, forget the past, let it go or all get along; we are related in America by slavery. Forcing imagery and dominating what we see and hear can not smother what people are yearning to know about themselves and their hair. The truth. And something has to be done about it. Something has to be done about caring for textured hair regardless the race. And I am the person to tell it and offer real life solutions. Seeing as the racial lines are so blurred; the term race will probably be obliterated soon. But the blending of all humans reflects the love and lust of one another in more ways than the mere appreciation and inclusion of cultural diversity.

So, you can call this " is or it' whatever you want. Just don't call it, Black hair care.