Up In Smoke

As a writer, I'm really liking this blogging thing. I find it pretty cool. It is like writing an essay and the readers are your teachers. Readers give you feedback. Good, bad or indifferent; many have much to say about what you write and of course, how you write. Nothing beats the feedback from my grammar Nazis who informs me when I have a grammar faux pas. 

one day.....

So while blogging connects me with many wonderful inquiring readers from near and far via the internet, believe it or not it also connects me with some in real life! Nothing makes anybody feel more cool than being spotted or questioned as to who they are like, "you famous" or something. It rarely happens to me. But 'er now and then, I will be out in the public and someone will say, "Hey aren't you..." And I gets to blushing, smiling, hand gesturing and all that jive. Well, a few weeks ago, it happened again. I was in the store and this woman was looking over in my direction. I don't know about you, but I can feel when someone is staring at me. So, I looked in her directions a few times. Before I knew it, she was tapping me. She said, "I know you don't know me, but I follow you on all of your social media and I think you are pretty cool. I like what you are doing helping us common folk with our hair." I smiled and said, "Alrighty there! I appreciate you." Then she went into the famous, "I hate to bother you while you are shopping, but..." 

You know me, I am the queen of loquaciousness. Did someone say talk? If you think I can write. You should here me talk. Girlaaaaaah! "Shoot," I replied. She went on to explain her discontent with her hair stylist. She was frustrated that her hair styles were not lasting. She felt her hair was limp and dull. She also asked me touch her hair because it felt like it was coated with something. So, what's a wanna be celebrity blogger turned Children's book author to do? Oblige her. 

After I did my "in store in between the clearance section at TJ Maxx (yes, I'm a a Maxanista) consultation," I responded, "Do you smoke?" She bashfully replied, "Well yes, but I am trying to stop."

Ok, let's pause for the cause. This blog is not in any fashion an attempt to put down smokers of any kind. If you want to smoke or like smoking what ever it is that you smoke, it is most certainly your prerogative. But. I know there is always a but. But understand, that I am aware that smoking soothes, calms, relieves, helps, replaces, in lieu of and so on for many. Just understand that aside from the obvious physical and mental side affects smoking has on the body and person, let's go there about what it does to hair and skin. 

As much as I want to drag this blog out with facts, data and research, I ain't. I'm gonna cut through that ( as much as I don't want to) and shoot straight from the hip. Stop. Stop smoking. Smoking is so awful on hair. All smokers are aware of the film smoke leaves on any surface. They are also aware of stench it leaves in your clothes, hair and breath. Right? They also know that no amount of perfume, deodorizer, or air cleaner will remove the odor of smoking. Ok, so I'll type it again. Stop. Stop smoking because the film that it leaves on your hair is not easily removed with shampoo. Shampoos are primarily formulated to remove oil, dirt, a small degree of hair product build up, flakes and slight odors. As for films, heavily coated hair, excessively flaking hair, pasty scalps, scaly scalps, they will never work. They will clean the obvious, but that is about it. 

If you insist.

In the case of this young lady concerns about her hair, the film left behind on her hair from smoking is the culprit to all what she did not like about her hair. She hated the reality that her hair did not shine, it was dull, limp, thinning, lacked volume, would not hold a style and it felt funny. Her expression, did not change much when I asked if she smoked. I am of the understanding she is aware of the impact smoking has on her hair. I am certain she was not of the understanding that it is NOT her hair stylist fault. 

Hair stylists are not magicians. We can only work with the hair fabric you enter the salon with. If the hair fabric is good, you will have a good hair style. If the fabric is compromised...well. Compromised, damaged unhealthy, fragile, over processed, under processed and unkempt hair fabrics takes just as much time as it does money to repair. Understand, the time and money is NOT spent in the salon. No hunty. That time and money will be spent at home. Hair styles and treatments are for the moment. After the moment, it's all back on you. You know kinda like talking to the nutritionist about weight concerns. They can give you great meal planning ideas and recipes. Tell you what stores to shop at and where to buy those cute lil' containers. They can even tell you how and what to cook it on. But after that, it's on you. 

Hair care and hair styling starts at home with what you put or what you do not put into your body. Give your hair the life you want it to have so it can look and feel the way you want it to look. You know? Just like your body. 

As much as I knew she was looking for the magic answer with the magic hair care product and the very magical hair stylist who could fix it like Jesus. I also knew that she intuitively knew that like Jesus, only she could sincerely fix it. 

Ok now...

Your hair is an extension of you in ever facet. Socially, emotionally, financially, culturally, spiritually and physically; your hair reflects all of that. Do not dupe yourself, do not remove yourself from you. Your hair is truly as alive as you are. And while we can do many things to enhance or change what we like or dislike about our hair, ultimately the ownness is on you. Of all the things you can do to enhance or change about your hair; do it. But whatever you do, don't blow it up in smoke. 

Remember the surgeon general and yo momma been warning you about that smoking for quite some time. Go ahead make your day and give #stopsmoking a try. It won't kill you. It will make your hair look nice though!

Hair Care

What does hair care mean to you?

Prior to becoming a hair stylist, I was a social worker. I enjoyed teaching parenting classes and getting teen parents to return to school. It was a job I loved to do. To be honest, I was very successful. I completed many reports to funders that demonstrated how mothers reunited with their children and how teens returned to school. Many may think that referrals and linkages were the keys to my success. After all, that's what families in crisis need, right? That is true. But I kind of liken my success as a social worker to that famous "Ginsu" commercial from the 70's, "But wait, there's more!"

Yes, not only was there more. There was another way. Referring families to the appropriate community resources was essential. But then so was, connecting the families to resources that provided bus passes, pampers and milk which afforded them help to aid in their decision to return to school. Yes, referring and connecting was pretty much my focus as I headed off to my drive to work. However, whenever I arrived at my families homes, something more than referrals and linkages were always happening. No, there were no fights. I rarely experienced a "no-show" on my home visits. My parenting classes were always full to capacity. So what was it you ask? Why were the families I served so consistent and determined to modify their parenting and return to school?

The answer is easy, hair. Yes, I must have told this story a thousand times. So writing it in a blog surely won't hurt. Right? Yes, I have a funny sense of humor. Humor is very important when working with people. So, humor is what I used to incorporate hair care into my scope of social work. It appeared that upon my every arrival, my hair was the key to getting my big toe inside the door. They loved my hair. Regardless the race, income, age and hair texture; my hair always became the main topic of discussion. Having no knowledge of hair styling, I humored them by creating analogies to hair care and self-esteem (or whatever the issue was that I was there to modify). Modifying their behaviors took more than a pep talk. My goal was to change their action of sitting in the house complaining, to them physically doing something that mattered to them. I wanted them to experience the magic of their actions. 

Before I knew it, those hair care analogies were being shared more than candy. It seemed whenever I arrived to a home or to one of my parenting groups, the word was already out that the "hair lady" had some good news to share about how to do your own hair. When I look at my career as a cosmetologist, I see that like Brian McKnight; I am, "back at one." 

Yes, with the natural hair movement sweeping the beauty industry like a push broom, people continue to want to know what is going on with their hair. Now that social media has quickly moved from photos to "live" feeds; oh, it's on and poppin'! Consumers are quickly realizing that pictures are not worth a thousand words nowadays. No. Pictures are worth a thousand filters, fancy phone camera lights and selfie angles that make my size 16 look like an 8. Ok, well maybe not an 8, but you get where I am going with this? The case of the fake people is rearing its ugly head. Once again, certain hair stylists are finding themselves lost in yet another trend. At first, it was finger waves. Then it was the Afro. Then it was cornrows. Then it was those Farrah Fawcett layers. Then it was the relaxer. Then it was curly perms. Then it was relaxers are bad. Now it's,  "going natural" (which by the way, I still have not figured that one out. Seeming as any hair that grows from the scalp is natural. But nobody asked me-sips tea).  The next trend certain licensed hair stylist found themselves lost in was, "The Big Chop." Then it was "protective styles." The latest appears to be these "twist out" hair styles. 

The disappointment is real.

In the famous words of the little boy who's video went viral as he attempted to explain to his mom, "Listen, Linda, listen!" Listen up people, understand that hair care and hair styling are entirely two different things. A hair style can never be hair care. And hair care can never be a hair style. Why? Well because they are not trends that you follow. They are not videos and tutorials. No, they are verbs that you do. You really have re-do them both daily. Neither last like batteries or trends. For some reason, many sincerely feel and believe that a paid for hair style or hair care products translate into lasting. 

The time has come to end this madness for once and all. Hair styles have their place in the world. Hairstyles belong in places such as photo shoots, picture day, TV sets and special occasions (i.e. holiday hair, weddings, family photos and so on). They don't last. Hair care products are supposed to be used up. You don't wait to use your products for Easter or a special occasion. Once the hair is styled, it is officially being "lived in." So, the wanting your hair style to last situation has to be put to an end. For the most part on most humans; hairstyles honestly do not last long. The attempt to preserve it is a gallant one. But trying to make a hairstyle last hours (for some) or days after it is has been "lived in" is about as effective as trying to preserve a souffle' that has been poked. Dude, it ain't happenin'. And for those whose hair can last, a big shout out to you and your one in a million hair. For many people, hair styles don't last because hair moves. Hair care products should not be in your cabinets for years. No, they should be used. If you are not using them, discard them. Do not share and pass them off to your children or friends. Many people say to me, "Why am I just now hearing this?" Well, I'm certain it has been said. What it has not been, is PROMOTED. There are not enough licensed cosmetologists standing up to help the consumers face the reality of hair care on real people in real life. 

So, I'm going to do my own "gallant effort" to help the masses with the "how to" of hair care that will result in a great hair style for a few hours if that long.

Shameless plug!

Yes, it is official. I have decided to come out of the closet about my dream. My dream is to be a writer. So, I write. I aim to write to tap into the feelings of what it takes for my readers who want to know and learn more about themselves. I aim to connect with the readers who are willing to be responsible and actually do it. In addition to writing, I am going to teach "how to" care for your hair the right way.  

How does one care for their hair the right way? By using "The Wright Hair Products."... I couldn't resist! They also have to learn how to care for their hair by using the "Wright" hair styling techniques. Doing hair properly requires doing the right thing. I will introduce to the world how I am going to do it. I will be live and direct, Saturday, April 8th at the Reverence Design Team Hair Salon. I will go live on all the social media platforms. Because I am not the only hair stylists in the world who feels this way, I have united with hairstylists from around the world starting with Arizona, Atlanta, Cleveland, Gambia (yep, Gambia the one in Africa), Kentucky and North Carolina. 

In my opinion, the mood in hair care and hair styling is going nowhere fast. It has an undertone of cyber bullying, it's light weight sexist, it's stereotypical, at times racist and fascist. It alienates and leaves many women running to the chairs of hair stylists worldwide with their smartphones and tablets showing us picture after picture; video after video all but saying, "I wanna sit with them." I honestly do not liker that. Because you can't. They won't let you. You don't have their hair, their phone, their filters or their apps...lol I understand your angst and hopes, though. 

I never was a fan of the mean girls, the clique, the echelon, the it-girls, the pretty little liars, the haves and the have-nots and the "you're not a factor bitch-boo-bye," thing-a-ma-jiggy. Nah, I liken myself to the part of change that has taken place in the world of hair care and beauty that promotes cleanliness is next to godliness. The, "be your own kind of beauty" message. After all, change is here. Change, done came, saw and conquered. Change is the new chic. Change is the new "to do." It is the big kahuna and kapow. Change is the little engine that could. It is the BMOC (Big Man On Campus)! And since it is on the minds of millions influencing them to do something about themselves. I have decided to drop the hairstylist, cosmetologist title and be my own kind of beautiful in this hair care, hair styling industry and be a "Change Agent." 

Hair care is about adapting to the changes that it goes through every single day of your life naturally. It will never matter the texture, the length, they type or the race. Because change is inevitable when it comes to hair. Change in hair needs to promoted so you will be prepared to accept and embrace it.  And who's better to help you with the changes your hair goes through than a, Change Agent?

Welcome, my dear readers, welcome.