Extension of Lies

Have fun with your hair!

Blog writing is a great source of inspiration. It gives me the ability to inform and entertain readers. For the most part, I have been enjoying writing posts to my blog. Doing the research and writing is everything I dreamed it would be. I dreamed it would be intense, fast paced, exciting and meticulous to detail. 

Through all the information gathering, entertaining thoughts, long intense hours of typing and retyping; blogging has brought me joy until I took on the challenge to investigate and write about...the human hair weave!

Boy oh boy! What was I thinking? I was thinking I could educate readers about the simplicity of human hair weave. I figured I could start by outlining the varying types of hair available, but that was a joke. Because apparently, the only hair that is available is the hair that people want that is nothing like the hair that grows from their scalp. Instead they want Euro, Malaysian, Indian, Peruvian and Brazilian hair. 

Funny, when other people stereotype people with certain physical features they call it racial profiling or stereotyping. In return, we call those people racist or classist. But in the hair weave industry they call it. ethnic hair and the people who sell their hair, "Donors." 

Aside from the popular "ian" types of hair one can purchase, I can start off by letting you know what you already know and that is, if you put anybody else's hair on your head, it IS fake. I just don't see why women are paying so much for the words human and real next to the word "hair." The reality is sometimes caring for your own hair is a drag and what better way to eliminate that stress than buying somebody's hair. But the cost of using the words "human" "virgin" "Brazilian" and so on before the word "hair" is pretty costly.

The artificial and virgin hair business is a very lucrative business. I have been in business for quite some time and I've managed to avoid hair weave until a few weeks ago. A customer was just dying for us to give it a try. So, quite naturally I had to do some investigating before I made the big investment. My investigation led me to my blog.

Brazilian Hair Weave

Since I could not begin my blog with hair types and the facts of it being a multi billion dollar trade, my research took me to a place of ethics. I am certainly in the mind of DJ Quik when it comes to business. "If it don't make dollars; it don't make sense." However, I like making good dollars with the good sense I have. And nothing about the propaganda in hair weave makes much sense in spite of all the dollars it makes. 

Therefore, I am opting to expose the mind, cash and culture washing that is being done with hair weave. I wish I could inform you of some interesting things about hair weave. But, I can't. Hair weave remains something of an enigma in my opinion.  Either, the folks who are in charge of marketing and branding do not know how to write or I do not know how to comprehend what I read when they write. Since, I am thinking too hard about what I am reading about hair weave, I'm going to do the other thing I know how to do best when I write...entertain!    

Lace Front Weave

So here goes it. For starters, in my research I could not find out if there really is a difference between using the term "weave," "artificial," or "extension." Therefore, for entertainment purposes only, I'm going to refer to added hair just like the masses and refer to it as, weave. 


Fake is Real and Real is Fake
The other thing is using the word "fake or artificial." For some reason, they (being the people who sell and write to describe hair weave) don't even refer to weaves, extensions, sew ins, glued in, taped in, snapped in, clipped in and laced in as artificial hair. Nope, they keep insisting, the hair is "real." 

I do not know how they are pulling this off. But, the last time I checked, if it grows out of the follicle (little tiny openings on your scalp and body that hundreds of thousands of strands of hair protrudes from), it's real. If not, it's fake. Rather it is sewn or glued to a net; rather it is sewn or glued to your hair, it is fake hair.

Well, in the hair weave and hair extension business they have millions of men and women sincerely believing that because they are purchasing real hair that has been cut off from a human or animal; they are purchasing "real" hair. While the hair may be coming off of a real person, make no mistake the minute they cut if off someone else's head and you glue, sew, snap or clip it into yours; it's fake hair. Bur for a minimum of $200.00 per quality bulk to write the words human, virgin, Brazilian and so in in front of the word "hair" to make you feel good about your purchase? Hey, it could happen. It is most certainly legal. In the world of marketing and branding, they call it the "emotion quotient."

Remy versus Virgin Hair

The Remy PROCESS.

Next is this whole thing about Remy Hair versus Virgin Hair. Now, this time, they (you know who they are by now!) want you to know that Remy hair refers to a particular process. The Remy process is a method. The Remy method is a way of cutting the hair from the donors head and  "collecting their hair" that ensures the cuticles (outer layer of hair that looks like fish scales) are laying in one direction to decrease the likelihood of tangling. Now, I'm not sure what  "Remy process" is, but something tells me the "process" is to literally pick the donor's hair up off the floor. Which is a violation of state board rules here in America in the states that license hair salons. My research goes on to to reveal that the Remy hair is more likely to consist of mixed hair fibers that are collected off the floor from when they cut the hair from the hair donors of varying ethnicities to create a Remy bundle, bulk or weft of hair. Can you say, "Grossburger?" Lastly, to preserve Remy hair, manufacturers often chemcially alter it by dying it and dipping it into silicone to make it look and feel nice. You have to be careful of the quality of Remy, regardless the process.  

Virgin Indian Hair donor process

Next they (yep, here they go again) describe another category of hair weave named "Virgin" hair. Virgin hair is human hair that is collected from one single donor from a certain ethnicity (Brazilian, Peruvian, Malaysian, Indian and the likes). In addition, Virgin hair has never been chemically altered, the cuticle is in one direction to decrease tangling, the life of the hair is longer and of course this type of hair is even more expensive.

So if you are buying Remy hair, you are buying hair that can or can not be mixed with other fibers off the floor with the cuticles in tact or going in one direction. If you are buy Virgin hair, you are buying hair from one human donor of a particular ethnicity whose hair has not fell to the floor with the cuticle in tact and their ethnicity will be placed before the word "hair" (i.e Brazilian hair). Umm, yeah right!

BBS Hair and Non Toxic Hair

Hollylujer!

Now they moved on to Non-Toxic Hair versus BSS (Beauty Supply Store) hair. What's the difference? They say non-toxic hair is, again, hair that they harvest and cut from one donor without chemically altering it in any capacity. What is harvest? Harvest in the hair weave business means, the person who is responsible for overseeing the donors who are growing their hair with the intent to cut and sell it. The one website, I visited claimed that their Non-Toxic hair is also Christian hair. "Tank ya Jesus. Praise ta lort!" Gimme a break, will ya?

As for BSS (Beauty Suppy Store) hair. Well they say, this hair is mostly Chinese (really now?) hair, animal hair or even a mixture of both Chinese and animal hair that is processed to make it look like virgin hair. Now the Chinese people shouldn't take that...LOL They also say, the cost is the determining factor in the quality or authenticity of every kind of hair. Bu, the BSS hair also commonly called YAK (yep from the the animal Yak) is the cheapest of all human hair weave. My research reveals that this BSS hair looks and feels great until it is shampooed or heat styled. My research also reveals that BSS hair typically can not be heat styled. If so, use very low heat.  Afterwards, the BSS hair becomes a tangled mess. They also report that BSS hair causes more skin allergies than other hair due to the stringent chemical processing done to make it appear real. I don't know about you; but, I'm not buyin any hair termed "BSS." Those initials alone would make me change my mind...ijs

Artificial Hair

Hair for Braiding

My research stopped at artificial hair. They say artificial hair is hair that is made from old tires and plastics that are cleansed, steamed and shredded into micro fibers for sale. They also say this hair is best for braiding, twisting and creating faux locs. No wonder folk's skin breaks out. Can you say, "Tox-ick?" All I'm going to say about this stuff is be careful. Purchase your hair weave like you do your meats. Know your source, know your seller, know your animal, understand how the meat is being prepared for sale, know your body, know the cost, know what dish the meat will be used for. When in doubt; go vegan!

Root and cuticles in tact; lying in one direction

Winding this blog down to the root of the problem. Now, I watched many videos and read many articles that claim the root and the follicles are attached and is on one end of the hair and the cuticles are in tact lying in one direction. "Listen Honey listen," follicles can never be attached to hair because follicles are ograns. Organs that each hair grows from. As for the root, well that is up under your skin, located under the sratus granulosum or sumthin' like that. The root of anybody's hair, dead or alive, will never be seen by the naked eye or felt with human hands (unless they are doing an autopsy or disection of some sorts). So as for ther root and follicle being part of quality hair weave anatomy; forgeddaboudit.  Next, them that darned cuticles in tact and laying smooth in one direction claim? Well that is true that hair will not tangle when they are lying flat and........ NEVER combed, colored, braided, twisted, flipped, rolled, set, dipped in hot water, tucked, wrapped or brushed. Whew! Imagine if they put that on the packaging...lol

The truth of the matter is any product claiming to repair damaged cuticles or detangle hair will suffice to protect your hair weave just like it will for the hair on your head. Therefore, you don't have to spend thousands of dollars just so you you can buy it new tangle free. I mean, at the end of the day all hair; good, bad, damaged or healthy, Remy or Virgin will tangle. And tangled hair will benefit from protein treatments and conditioners claiming to seal or smooth the cuticle to help detangle it.

No way can this be attached to any hair weave.

In the end, I dunno. It all sounds fake to me. It, being the branding and marketing of this hair weave stuff. For them to dupe women into thinking that they are buying hair that is real when it is obviously fake, give me a break. Then they put all these names and lables next to the word "hair" by lableing hair according to ethnicities. Then they charge hundreds and thousands of dollars for it? Sign me up, I'm selling hair at my salon right now...lol But with strict purchasing guidelines to ensure a worthwhile investment.

In conclusion, the extension of hair weave lies are just that, lies. An extension of a hoax gone too broad, too costly, too far and too viral. In this world, when we want to dupe people, we simply add a high price to it. People will swear it is real and of excellent quality. Not so in the hair weave business. Buyer beware is my advice. 

Back in the day if you attached any form of hair that was weaved into a net onto your head in any capacity, it was called a wig. Wigs were worn to embellish just about any hair style. A wig was considered a hat in many instances for the varying occasions from a walk to the store to a full-fledged formal black tie event. Both words; wig and weave were synonymous with one word and one word only...FAKE. And if you treated both your wig and natural hair good, it was beneficial to both your natural hair and the wig. I recall my aunts taking good care of their $40.00 wigs. They used oil sheen, cleansed them with special sprays and heck they even had a special styrofoam head to keep the wig in shape. When it comes to these hair weaves, I've seen women spend in excess of $400.00 buying hair and $300.00 to have it installed to their natural hair. Then they have the audacity to spray $3.99 oil sheen on it, smoke in it, and refuse to wash it for at least two weeks. I don't get it. I just don't get it.

Believe it or not; people are ok with that. And that's no lie!

Protective Hairstyles Advice

America is fascinated with fear.

America. Ah, the land of the free and the home of the brave! Right? Wrong. We might be free, but we most certainly are not brave. While some are brave in fighting the enemies in war to protect our homeland, others are not when it comes to having some heart to fight the ignorance and care for their hair. 

As a cosmetologist, fear in hair care behooves me. To be honest, it was working with women who were afraid of their own hair while working as a social worker is what got me behind the chair in the first place. 

Exhibit A - The famous coveted "protective
silk" scarf.

Yep, during my social work days I can not tell you how many women had children services involved in their homes for lack of hair care, abuse with hair care, trafficking drugs for hair, fighting over hair, stealing hair; they got into all kinds of mischiefs about hair. Well, everything but caring for their hair or their children's hair themselves. Why? I asked myself that question on several occasions. 

The same answer I got over 15 years ago is the same answer I get today. Fear. Don't get me wrong, America is a great place to live. However, if there is one thing I would like to change about our country, it would be our abuse and misuse of fear. Quite naturally in some instances. fear serves a great purpose. Like when there is a bear, you broke your momma's lamp or your water broke. We all can agree, a good dose of fear comes naturally and quickly in those examples. Yet, when it comes to hair, why is there so much fear?

In this blog, I will take on the fear that many women have in caring for their hair under the guise of "protective hairstyles." Yes lawd, these people with this natural hair movement need to go somewhere and sit down. I get the natural part, but the movement throws me. For starters, the guise of "protective hairstyles" that are being promoted by this natural hair movement is moving people in the wrong direction in many instances. Because this topic can get long. I will briefly cover 3 ways that "protective styles" within the natural hair movement, unknowingly promoting "NO HAIR CARE." 

Exhibit B - The most recent "protective" hairstyle, "Latch Hook" braid style.

The first way is fear. There are many women out there who are abandoning hair care in the name of protection for fear. They actually believe that if they comb, can't comb it, wash it, use sulfates, use man made products that their hair will fall out. That is not true. Have no fear because "protective hair styles" are just a fancy way of saying, "keep your hand out of your hair." That concept works great for those who just won't stop combing, weaving, styling, coloring, relaxing and everything in between every time you turn around with their hair. Yes, braiding it up will temporarily suffice. 

The "temporarily suffice" leads me to the second way that the "protective hairstyling" is unknowingly promoting fear and a clique mania within the natural hair movement. Protective hairstyles purpose is to physically cover the hair to reduce friction that often causes breakage and loss of length. Protective hairstyles do not clean hair. Nor does protective hairstyles fortify and reconstruct hair. If protective styles in all its array of choices are your prerogative to protect and grow your hair...then; "Do what you wanna do!" (In my Bobby Brown voice). Protective hairstyles simply cover your hair. Nothing more and nothing less.

But, make no mistake protecting and growing hair will never result in strong, fortified hair that will withstand the rigors of manipulating hair in its many ways. Manipulating hair is typically done via braiding, wrapping, flat ironing, combing, brushing, wearing a scarf, chemically altering it, getting it wet and so on. Hair needs protein to fortify the second layer of hair to keep it strong enough to handle manipulating it. Hair also needs reconstructors to repair the cuticle layer which is responsible for the shine and feel on our hair.

How many braids do we braid on a daily?
Me say, "Money, I mean many many many!"

The third and final problem with the promotion of "protective hair styling" is cleanliness. Next to dehydration, nothing weakens and compromises hair in every way imaginable than dirty hair. Keeping your hair covered, braided or with weaves to keep your hands out of it to keep from breaking your hair off and losing your length is understandable. However, what you really need to understand is that the yeast, dirt, and growing bacteria is the perfect breeding ground for hair eating and follicle (the tiny hole that your hair grows from) compromising micro-organisms that will always result in weak, limp, damaged, over processed, lackluster, thinning, smelly, scaly scalp, lice, and nit infested hair. That is; when you take it down.

I so get the importance of embracing what God gave you by way of hair texture. But what good will pointing out the beauty of your God given hair (regardless your race, texture and length) if you do not wash it properly with the correct products formulated for your unique hair fabric? What good is protecting your natural hair if you cover it, braid it or  "weave" it and you will not wash it and fortify it? What good is it to boast and brag about being natural and going natural when you are too busy to care for it? What good is it to be "natural" if you do not want to learn how to do it yourself or invest in someone who can?

Hair nits. The struggle is real. Do not use hair straight
from the package. Clean the artificial hair first.

I will reiterate how I get the movement. I understand. I too promote braiding it, covering it , and weaving it. But, where the movement is going and who are allowed to go on it, remains something of an enigma to me? Using fear and ignorance, coupled with unresponsible leadership will continue to move those with hair in the illusive wrong direction of protective styles that require no care, no treatment, no cleaning, no nothing; well not at least for 3 weeks to 3 months. That will never suffice and result in strong shainy hair. 

In closing, would you Google a movement, followed its directions and buty their endorsed products to protect your vagina like that?

Exactly!

Nappy Hair

Stereotype. 

Is it me, but do you ever reflect back on those pivotal moments when you had those "A-ha Moments" in learning that were very fascinating? I still have them to this very day. When I was in the 6th grade, I was full of excitement to learn how to use different words to express myself. 

In reminiscing, nothing quite tickled my fancy that I can recall, like learning the word, "stereotype." Now, if my memory serves me correct, which it doesn't as I age, I recall thinking the word stereotype meant some kind of stereo. I just knew my guess could not be wrong. After all, I knew what a stereo was and I knew what type meant; so how could I have went wrong on that word? Boy, was I wrong. 

Since learning what stereotype meant, I've come to realize that it is just as real at 48 years old as it was at 11 years old. If it has been a while since you've read the definition of stereotype, let me refresh you. As defined in Websters, "stereotype is a widely held but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person or thing."

Being a hairstylist, stereotyping, unfortunately, is very commonplace. For example, it is not uncommon for a hairstylist to assume that a person is black if they have brown skin with textured hair. I highly recommend licensed hairstylists to do a thorough consultation. A consultation gives the professional  a chance to get to know the customer first before they even touch their hair. It is the consultation that reduces the likelihood of stereotyping. 

Artificial hair.

In no place do I see stereotyping like I see it in the hair industry. Stereotyping has moved from the eyes to the thoughts, to the pages and now to the computer screens worldwide. Words and images of "natural hair" being predominantly associated with women of color regardless the location. As a matter of fact, stereotyping is also changing the meaning of words. Stereotyping promotes the ignorance that "natural hair' is textured hair for Black girls and women. Funny, what about boys and men?

Yep, it's that bad. I was in the salon the other day and my new guest asked, "What is your take on natural hair? I notice in all that I read about you, you shy away from that word." I responded, "Well...if it grows from your head, it's natural." She was like, "Oh." I told her that I was not trying to be funny or not sensitive. I told her that I was being professional. In being professional, it is in one's best interest to avoid stereotyping. I doubt any customer I serve would find me credible if I asked if they had "natural" hair as I touch it or implied it wasn't natural because it was chemically altered. To me, that would not be professional. To me, that would be stereotyping.

For the record, a wig or weave in any fashion is the only hair that is not natural. It is sewn onto some sort of netting, weft or is attached to the natural fibers growing from your scalp in many ways from gluing, to sewing, to clipping them in, fusing and the likes.  Seriously, not much of hair styling can take place without some hair. Except In the many cases of people who can not grow hair, is on medication that causes them to lose their hair or for those who simply shave it off because they don't want any hair; then no hair it is. They may opt for a wig in the many ways they can be made. 

Natural hair! 

Natural hair is hair that grows from the scalp in the varying textures of curly, kinky, wavy, straight and Afro. Everybody of the same race or within the same family does not have the same hair. Natural hair is not a black thing. Textured hair is most certainly not a black thing. Natural hair that is chemically altered via straighteners, texturizers or hair color REMAINS natural. Just because it is altered does not mean that it is not natural. It means your hair is altered. Promoting altered hair as anything but natural is like saying, "If you wear makeup, earrings or put clothes on; you are not natural." 

For the record, hair is a pliable resilient fiber that you can safely do many things to alter it. Hair's chief purpose is adornment because adorning yourself is innate. The unknown desire to be cute or alter your appearance (hair included) is natural as scratching an itch! To be exact, they still have not found any scientific or biological reason why we have hair. Aside from the obvious theory of protection, research has not yielded anything profound about why we have hair.

If it grows from your scalp, it's natural.

Rather a person wants to braid, twist, loc, color, relax, perm, wave or weave their hair; it is still natural. Texture and race have nothing to do with determining whose hair is natural. Again, if it grows from the scalp or skin; it is natural. 

The deliberate act of excluding others who do not look like you is along the lines of discrimination, racism, classism, sexism. When you clump people together and assume they are all the same and share your sentiments is stereotyping. I professionally and deliberately do not do business with any hair company, styling tool manufacturer and hair stylists who overtly or indirectly incorporate stereotyping in their scope of service for financial gain. When it is at the expense of uninformed people, it makes my skin cringe. 

Natural Hair

As much as I am a fan of social networking, I do not like it when I see people stereotyping the phrase, "natural hair." Then they have the audacity to take it to another level by indirectly cyberbullying and using overt racism by promoting that "natural hair" is a black thing. That type of behavior is exclusive. Natural hair is inclusive. Most humans are designed to grow natural hair. Therefore, promoting it as exclusive to one race or textured hair group of people is not true. Exclusion is mean spirited. It scares people and it confuses people. 

This "natural hair" movement in some ways is not moving.  The "natural hair" movement has an element of rhetoric that misinforms, divides and hurts. It is rhetoric that takes advantage of people who want to belong. It misleads those who are looking for solutions to hair styling challenges. It is also rhetoric that has an element of a clique that only a certain photo filtered shades of brown with made up faces and innuendos of being "black enough" is natural. That is wrong on every level and you know it. 

If you cut us open, humans are
pretty much wired the same!

Stereotyping happens to me often. I once participated in a "natural hair" event and was questioned the "naturalness" of my race and hair because my hair was artificially colored blonde. My hair is still blonde. Regardless if my hair is artificially colored or not; I am a woman of color and my hair is still natural. Challenging a person's authenticity of naturalness based on the color of their skin or if their hair is chemically altered or artificially enhanced is preposterous.  Suggesting that girls and women must somehow be validated as "natural" by images that rarely looks like them when they wake up and get on with their day is uberly unrealistic. That challenge and suggestion give way to a belief that "natural" is carefree and automatic. Natural is never carefree and automatic. Natural requires time, creativity, care, attention, and patience. 

In conclusion, as a licensed hair stylist, I know for certain that "natural hair" really does grow from the scalp of all who can grow hair. I know that "natural hair" is not a black thing. It is a biological thing.

Ridculousness

Is it me, but is there something about the "natural" hair phenomena that makes you go hmmm? Going "natural" with hair to me is like going "natural" with race. In both instances, you are already natural. Just because you alter them doesn't mean they are not natural. It simply means they are altered. And that is the natural beauty of the varying hair textures and skin complexions. You can alter both. You can alter them topically, chemically, surgically, permanently, temporarily, organically and naturally. You can alter your hair and skin color any way you like for any reason you want. For some reason, there are people who like to make people feel some kind of way about altering their hair. Regardless the method. When a person does something another person doesn't like we use words to express it. And one way we use the words are via semantics. Americans are good with semantics; we love wordplay. For example, there are individuals who are playing with the word "natural." They are using the word with hair and is taking "natural" hair to places it should never go. 

In my professional and personal opinion, "natural" hair care should never go to ridiculousness. Just a few weeks ago, I wrote a blog about the crazy "natural" things people do to their hair. I actually thought I was blogging about something. Just when I thought I touched on a topic and covered its bases, another interestingly ridiculous "natural" hair care phenomena had spewed from the mind of an individual into the homes, salons, and typed into the search bars of millions of computers world wide. What ridculous "natural" hair craze am I referring to? In the words of one my favorite hip hop groups, Stesasonic; "Brace yourself for the ultimate rare!" 


The latest ridiculous "natural" hair care craze that is spreading like the Ebola virus is the use of Monistat Vaginal Cream. Yes, there is one person who is responsible for this ridiculous non medically proven ignorant concept and practice as they tout it as "natural' hair care. You are reading that sentence correctly. Monistat Vaginal Cream is being touted as a "natural" alternative stimulant that can promote hair growth. How? Well what I've read is that, due to the anti-fungal ingredient in Monistat called ketoconazole, it is supposed to help your hair grow. There is a theory that the Ketoconazole ingredient supposedly can act as an interceptor to a gene that lies deep down inside the walls of the follicle that causes hair to thin or not grow at all. The follicle is the tiny hole that hair grows from. In theory, the ketoconazole in turn lets some of the hair grow in pretty fast because it blocks those gene receptors in the follicle from receiving the signal to not grow. There is nothing "natural" about applying Monistat Vaginal Cream to your scalp to act as an interceptor to a gene that makes hair thin or not grow because the makers of Monistat Vaginal Cream has NOT said so. While it may not be natural, it is ridiculous.

Monistat Vaginal Cream is suppose to block the thinning hair gene
from receiving the message to shrink and thin or not grow.
Yeah right.

But wait, there's more! Oh yes, my dear readers and fellow hair care junkies, there's more. The other ridiculous "natural" hair phenomena that is not cleaning hair is called; water wash.  What is this, again, you ask? I don't know. But, to me, "water wash" is very close to a oxymoron. I mean water is not a verb.  It is a noun. You know; a person, place or thing. Right? And isn't water a odorless, tastless clear liquid that is the basis of the fluids for all living ORGANISMS (microganisms are organisms). And isn't wash a verb that uses water and soap/detergent to clean? IJS (I'm just saying).

Now, don't go getting your hair into a bunch. According to what I watched on YOUTUBE, the "water wash" method is a simple technique of "washing" you hair with water with the intent to redistribute the sebum (scalp oil) oil from the scalp throughout your hair using water and hands only. NO COMB. Never mind the fact that your hand can absorb water and oil. Now, how is this "natural" redistributing of sebum oil works is weird science to me? The concept is being highly recommended by these ordinary people as an alternative for those who have sensitivities to shampoos, those who have textured hair but is low in density (number of hair fibers per cubic inch) and for those who want to maintain or improve the texture of their curly, kinky, wavy or Afro tresses. Now these people in these video; I don't know readers, but they are some dirty haired ladies instructing ordinarily sane clean haired women to do some insane stuff to their hair. Now that is not the word I really want to use, but I digress. Again washing implies the use of water and soap. So the term "water wash" makes me feel all foo foo frilly on the inside.

Something about this image reminds me of rinsing and
not washing.

Now in both cases, I must say my gut reaction was, "How ridiculous!" After my research, I am now yelling as loud as I can, "How ridiculous!" As a cosmetologist, my job's primary focus is not hairstyling, nail care and skin care. Instead, my primary job is public safety.  The Ohio State Board of Cosmetology allows me "to do" hair, skin and nails as I please. Provided, I practice public saftey and sainitation is the midst of me working. So while these ordinary people on YOUTUBE are promoting this practice at home. The "water wash" increases your chances of not being able to enter a salon almost anywhere in the United States due to the critters that will automatically grow in your head or make you a breeding gound for all kinds of micro icky stuff that will make a going into a salon illegal. Can you say microorganism, bacteria, MRSA, staph, lice, scabies and so on? Every salon in America has "state" rules and guidelines for public safety and sanitation that we by law must adhere to in order to safely serve the public, work, and let you sit in the chairs at our salons. No licensed hair stylist can provide service to a person with live bugs on their persons (hair included). To do so violates public safety. So wash your hair and wash it good with soap and water.

The Ohio State Board
of Cosmetology, by law requires
every hair, skin, nail and spa to
post the Rules, Regulations
and Law around PUBLIC SAFETY.

With that, I will conclude this blog with two informative facts about using Monistat Vaginal Cream in any fashion on your scalp to grow your hair and using "water wash" only method to clean your hair. Both are natural and both do not work. The mere act of squeezing Monistat Vaginal Cream from the tube and rinsing your hair with water as you rub your hair is indeed natural. Make no mistake. However, if you really want your hair to grow, increase your blood supply to your hair bulb located inside your follicle that is on your scalp. You can do this via washing your scalp or a scalp massage. Ketoconazole has not been medically proven to affect any gene via topical application. So don't use it and if you are, stop, 

If you want to preserve or improve the texture of your hair, you need to use soap and water. Lawd, people! Water is interestingly beneficial for you and your hair when you use it frequently properly.  I am certainly no Water Treatment Specialist and I do not work for the EPA (Environmental Protection Agency).  If your curly, kinky, wavy or/and Afro texture is being compromised from the use of any kind of shampoo and conditioner, it is because you are not 
using the right kind. You also are not using or is using the wrong kind of protein on your hair. Lastly, your hair could be coated from not being properly cleaned.  Water washing will only make matters worse after extended use. How? At one point in my life, I was a "Soap Hating" kid. One summer I decided to water wash and not use soap when I bathed. You know getting in the tub, dipping the soap in the water and rinsing off. One night I was itching profusely. When my sister and cousins asked why was I scratching and itching so much, my mother walked passed and said, "Micororganisms." When they asked, "What's that?" She replied, "The cooties!" No one wanted to play with me for the rest of the summer and I and the "cootie" touch all that summer....lol

Cootie Science Humo

The meaning of ridiculousness is "causing or worthy of ridicule or derision; absurd; preposterous; laughable. Absurdly or unbelievably good, bad crazy, etc." Now, let's use it in a sentence. Mixing Monistat Vaginal Cream with hair cream to apply to your scalp for your hair to grow is ridiculous. And to wash it off using water wash method and call it natural hair care is ridiculousness!"

How to Care for My Hair?

Girl bye...

I often hear that being a cosmetologist is similar to being a psychologist or therapist. Hmph, I beg to differ. Being a cosmetologist is more like being an audience member at a comedy show. While it is true that people do share some interesting problems to us, no problem they share compares to the funny stories they tell. The funny stories they tell about haircare ranks up there with the scene in "Blades of Glory" when Will Ferrell is explaining why use uses "Mane and Tail" shampoo and how he brushes his hair with his special brush 100 times each night...lol Go YouTube it!

In this blog ndogo, I will highlight some of the craziest things I have heard in the name of hair care.  

Love, peace and hair grease!

Understand that for many, cultural practices along with good old fashioned trial and error, plays a pivotal role in the humor of it all. The examples that I find humorous are no attempt to directly or indirectly offend anyone, any culture, any practice or any hair texture. So, read along. Maybe you will get a laugh too!

All right now, here we go!

Starting with the crazy over use of GREASE. OMG! When asked why? The response typically goes like this, "Ladosha, the reason I have so much grease in my hair is because I am trying to keep my hair from feeling so dry!" LOL, you can stop laughing or nodding now! Ok, seriously people, grease will never bring moisture to hair. Grease (of any and all makes) coats your hair. Grease is actually an anti-humectant. So, the more grease/mineral oil you use on your hair, the dryer, more brittle and gritty your hair will feel. How could this be, you ask? Because most greases are made from petroleum. Petroleum will NEVER attract moisture. It coats hair and skin. It sits on top and the toxic waste is absorbed into your skin making your body work hard to get rid of it. Even if you put a plastic cap on it! The minute you take that cap off and your hair or feet dries; both will feel dryer after a few hours. People, do not try this at home or any place else. Grease and synthetic oils are great conductors of heat (though they do burn off, just press the gas pedal on your car). It also adds sheen. If you want moist hair you will need to drink more water and use a product like Decca Plus' Satin Tame. It has ingredients in it to bind moisture, strengthen it, seal the cuticles to keep textured tress from tangling (yeah boyee) and keep hair feeling supple. It does not over soften to compromise texture. It does not coat hair making it feel wet or gooey.

Don't believe the hype.

Next up is the crazy CO-WASH hog wash. What the ham sammich is going on? There are so many hair stylists wondering how are people falling for this. Often when I observe the scalp of a new client during my scalp and hair analysis, I notice what looks like cottage cheese or yogurt on the scalp. When I ask what is going on with your hair? The typical response is, "Oh, Ladosha I went on YOUTUBE and learned about a better way to clean my hair.  It does not have any sulfates and all those other harsh ingredients. It's called co-washing" Ooooh kaaaaay. Again, what the ham sammich is this nonsense? "Listen honey, listen!" The detangling benefits of co-washing often over soften hair after extended use. Leaves a stinch on the hair liken to Peppy Le Pew. And a coating that only Dawn dishwashing liquid can remove. No shampoo on the market and cleanse the scalp and hair effectively of this kind of product. Co-washing your hair is the equivalent  of washing up with lotion. Enough said.

The next crazy attempt done in the name of hair care is the INVERSION METHOD. Yes, it is true that blood flow is essential to the health and growth of hair. You can increase blood flow to the scalp by way of massaging the scalp, brushing to stimulate the scalp, medication, stimulating essential oils (i.e. peppermint, camphor, tea true and the likes), and electric scalp massagers, infrared lights and now "thee" inversion method! The inversion method was accidentally discovered by the original medicine man, Hippocrates. He was using this technique for back problems and accidentally discovered that folks hair was growing. So basically, the name tells it all.  The Inversion Method requires that you hang upside down (hence inversion) or at a certain angle one lays to get the blood flow to the scalp. Anybody can do it, except people who have the following:

Upside down, hair you turn me (in my Diana Ross voice)!

• Low or High blood 
• Detached retina (duuude!)
• Ear infection
• Spinal injury
• Heart or circulatory problems
• Pregnacy (do they really need  warning...lol)
• Hernia
• Obesity (oh well, that excludes me...lol)
• Unhealed fractures or injuries
• Recent Stroke
• Migranes

In the infamous words of one zany crazy comedian, Judy Tenuta, 'It could happen!"

Read the ticker...water, oil/butters and a plastic cap
will not make hair grow.

Next, the crazy thing done in the name of hair care is the GHE a.k.a the Green House Effect for hair. It was created by Mika Lishauna. Again, the name says it all. This one here...SMH. Again, there are some of us hair stylists who just don't get it. I like the analogy of plant care to follicle care...but-ter-umm.  Ok, so in theory the concept is to mimic the effects of what a green house does for plants to hair. GHE instructs users to do 3 things. One, spritz hair with water until damp. Two, apply oil or butter (shea or coconut) to hair and three, cover hair with a plastic cap leaving it on overnight or as long as you can. In the morning style your hair in a non-heat hair style and at night place the cap back on your head to start all over again. According to my readings, the GHE technique was created "to increase blood flow that stimulates hair follicles and raises your hair growth rate." Now I don't know Mika and I most certainly do not know Monica of the "Curly Hair Lounge" blog that I got my quote from; but-er-ummmm. "blood flow" by no stretch of the imagination can NOT come from misting water onto hair, adding oils/butter and then placing a plastic cap on your head for as long as you can. To promote growth for hair all you need is a sound diet, water, bowel movements. And according to Mr. Charles Truss of Decca Plus hair care cleansing, nourishing and circulation will most definitely suffice. Second, humans are wired to only grow about 1/4 inch per month give or take a few millimeters. It ain't happenin' people. Not even with a time lapsed camera attached to your re-qrowth to capture the growth.

Another one, the "PROTECTIVE HAIRSTYLES" craze.  Did the Beetles just return to the US from Britain? LOL! This latest craze in hair care is sweeping the globe. Yet, I don't know about this one either. Back in the day in the day we use to just call them french braids, cornrows, plats, wigs or my favorite, "keep yo hands out yo hair!" As for protection, a hat will protect...lol 

Throwback Protective Style formerly known as BRAIDS!

At this point, I'm like Lawrence Fishbourne in"School Daze," Waaaaaaaake up! You can use any word you want. Anytime you stop yanking on it and being heavy handed or aggressive with your styling techniques you won't need protection. Just a new habit!

But wait, there's more. The crazy, zany over rated "NATURAL HAIR" movement. Oh lort! Do not sip tea or do a lap for Jesus! The Pink Panthers were a movement. Ditching your relaxer is not a movement. It is a choice. Listen my dear readers...If it grows from your scalp; it IS natural. For the record whenever, however and with whatever we apply to our hair and skin; we are indeed altering it. Hair is a living pliable fabric that you can do some pretty cool things to. But that does not mean it is any less natural if you alter it in any facet. And for all the licensed pros jumping on this cash cow train to the bank, you should be ashamed of yourselves. Customers are asking, "Shouldn't they have beein making the decision to improve my hair texture on their own with educations and training without the influence of the internet?" These women out here are not stupid. That is why many do not trust or do business with licensed professionals.

Y'all know about The Mack...lol

In conclusion, if you find yourself navigating to the latest trend or hype in hair care and growth, ask yourself, "Who's the mack?" Don't fall for the okey doke. Remember, it only takes 3 steps to promote growth and the health of hair. "Cleanse, nourish and circulation." I suggest you couple those three simple steps with the proper styling tools, caring hands and your natural hair is gonna be alright. While some hair textures and hair styles require more time than others...hey, it what it is; hair!

Color Treated Hair

Inquiring minds wanna know!

I recall the day I announced to my colleagues in social work that I would be switching careers from social work to hair care. They were all very excited for me. "What will you do, what will be your areas of expertise?" Those were the questions of the day. I would happily respond, "I will specialize in Trichology and hair coloring." I hope to travel the world teaching the masses how to do their own hair and in between engagements color the world beautiful!" They would all smile. Then one day, my dearly beloved colleague, Ellie Heiser overheard my response. She called me over to her office and said,"Ladosha, I'm a little old Jewish lady who spends a lot of money and time in hair salons. And though I don't know much about hair care for black women, I can tell you that women of all colors want to have their hair colored by a colorist who specializes in hair color who also has her hair colored."  I laughed so hard as I looked in the mirror at my black hair with a serious skunk streak going off center down my entire head of hair. 

The rest they say is history. At that pivotal moment, I decided I needed to step my A-Game up and learn more about what I was to specialize in and of course, re-vamp my image. I turned to my very southern belle of a cousin, Nickcole to help me in the image department. And boy did she pluck every hair that didn't belong, threw out my standard social work jacket, cut down my nails and urged me to fix my smile. Ahh, nothing like the brutal honesty of family!

Now that my image was all together, I still had this skunk streak I needed to get rid of. The interesting thing about becoming a colorist was learning the truth about hair color. So in my quest to get my tresses colored properly, I quite naturally devised a list of things to consider about coloring my hair. As a colorist, I have pretty much stuck to that list and only modifies it when a new technology enters the scope of services. 

So for those of you who are just dying to know the secrets to great hair coloring; read on!

There are five simple things to consider if you are interested in having your hair colored. Perhaps you are having problems with getting your gray hair to cover properly or maybe you are simply afraid of getting your hair colored. 

When it comes hair color, don't sweat the small stuff. The five tips I put together will surely help you if you want your hair colored or like me; want to become a colorist.

Money makes the world go
round and your colorist too!

Number one, the cost. Not in the spirit of you get what you pay for. The cost has to do with technology, ingredients and availability. That scenario includes what you purchase over the counter and who you pay to formulate and apply it.

Second is the formulation. Now this is where the cost and the results could increase or decrease; improve or worsen. A true colorist and a forthright company will formulate according to the desired outcome the person is looking for. If you are coloring your hair at home, this can be difficult. I suggest you call the company's 1-800 number for advice instead of re-reading the box trying to figure it out. Coloring your hair is nothing like polishing your nails. As for paying a professional, the colorist should always do a consultation upon every visit and prior to mixing anything up in the back. If your colorist at the salon is saying things like, "So are we keeping the same color?" Run for the door!

Applying hair color is not like
applying nail polish.

Third is the application. Applying hair color is as intricate as painting the walls in your home or finishing your hardwood floors. Meticulousness to details. In addition, a "method to the madness" always brings about flawless mouth dropping results. Apply color in haste not only makes waste, but it also brings about blotchy inconsistent patchy results.

Fourth, is maintenance. What you maintain your colored tresses with is as important as what you color your tresses with. Shampoos, conditioners and styling agents that are formulated for color treated hair are always best. These products are more gentle. These products have the technology and ingredients to prevent color from fading. They also help your hair from becoming brittle as well as afford you to chemically alter your hair by way of Keratin treatments, chemical relaxers, flat ironing and perming your hair. I recommend that you follow the manufacturers suggestions if you are coloring your hair at home. Do not play in this area. Doing so, almost always results in damaged hair and faded color. If you are going to a salon, purchase what your colorist recommends without hesitation. Almost all products are money-back guarantee; therefore you are never stuck with a product.

Framesi's Color Lovers
line for color treated hair is
one of the best on the
market. 

Read the technology and care
Framesi put into their
Color Lovers product line.

Do not be tempted or duped into buying products according to race and lifestyle. Quality hair care products are like soap. They are formulated to address the skin/hair condition; not the race of the person. I mean have you ever heard or read a Dove soap commercial say, "Dove, formulated for dirty white people only?" Neither should hair care products. There is something unique in all hair textures not just Blacks and minorities. There is also something unique in every individual. So while a certain group of people may be of the same race, they are all individuals. Customize your hair care just like you do your skin care. 

The best flat irons for the price.

Fifth, are the styling tools. If you are using heating implements that are too hot; you will cause the color molecules to dissipate and your color will fade faster. If you are using heating implements that are not hot enough you will cause your hair to feel rough, brittle and the color molecules will dissipate. Your hair will break, your color will fade and damaged hair is again almost always the result. Invest in a quality pair of flat irons that have the technology built in just like your hair color and hair care products. Remington Flat irons have some of the best technology that is safe and effective for all hair textures at prices under $70.00.

As you can see, dying to know about hair color not only gets you the answers, it will also bring life back to your hair. The responses will have you thinking more responsibly about coloring your hair or having it colored. If money and time are "true" concerns, then do not apply hair color or have color applied to your hair. It does not matter if the hair color line is organic or synthetic; temporary, semi, demi or permanent .... they are all chemicals and they all chemically alter your hair. 

So now that you have the answers, you can get back to living with your hair!