Don't Touch My Hair

Romance is to be enjoyed!

There have been many plays and movies about African American women and their hair. Movie's such as B.A.P.S, Poetic Justice, The Beauty Shop, Legally Blonde and Don't Mess with the Zohan do not quite capture the reality of African American women and the relationship they have with their hair like Chris Rock's 2009 documentary, “Good Hair”. While he caught a lot of flack, I thought he did a great job. But, the scenes that brought it all home were the ones where he captured high profile actresses such as Nia Long, Raven Simone, Lauren London and a few other notables expressing their discontent with their significant others who touch their hair during intimacy. In the infamous word of the cartoon character Snagglepus, "Heavens to murgatroid!"

After that scene, I had to go back to the salon and question the validity of such jibberish. Could it be so? Are African American women nation wide sacrificing intimacy for their hair? After a series of questions and conversations going, I got mixed responses. The bulk of the customer revealed a resounding, yes!

Ladies, ladies, ladies. At the end of the day it is just hair. Truth be told there are not many hair styles that are romance proof. Most hair styles have to be re-done to a small degree depending on the intricacy of the style, the strength (fine, medium or coarse) of hair and the texture (curly, kinky, wavy or straight) of hair. If the hair stylist is proficient, practical, skilled and honest; they will coif your hair properly and all will be fine. So what is the best way to determine the value of a hair style and its longevity as it relates to romance?

It is simple. The value of a hair style lies in your ability to recreate the look at home. Which look? There are too many to fit in this article. It is best to invest in hairstyle that you can duplicate and leave the fancy hair styles to the red carpet and other special occasions. For the record hair is skin; and like skin hair is typically touched. To don a hair style that your loved one can not touch, run their fingers through or stroke in some capacity quite naturally minimizes the power of intimacy. 

Instead of fretting over your hair, be practical and realistic. As hairstylists, part of our job is to actually teach you how to recreate your hair style. Keep in mind on your next salon visit, what you do not know how to do, ask your stylist to teach you. Being a slave to a hair style versus your love life provides two vast experiences in the world of intimacy. After all, there are much better things to do and say during romance besides, “Don’t touch my hair.”

Hair to Stay

Race does not matter.

The art of Coiffure (French for the manner of arranging and sculpting hair) made its way into the hearts of women in the 1700’s. This phenomena was so powerful, it made is way through Paris over to America on to the head of America’s first President, George Washington. While that was pretty fancy, back in Egypt before America was on the map, Nefertiti and Cleopatra held down the crown and glory theory by literally wearing one.

Hair styling is officially categorized by the powers that be in the world of psychology as innate. In other words, humans are designed to somehow and to some way to want to look good. The history of hair styling comes from various parts of the world. The Parisians had their way. The Africans had another way. The Chinese had another way. Everybody had a way. Which way is the right way?

The culture one is brought up in, pretty much determines how a person will care for and style their hair; thus making hair care here to stay. The catchy part to caring for your hair based on your culture.  Considering every culture is mixed;  as is the art, skill and preference as to how to do it are as well.

What other practices do we have in the varying cultures that are now mixed? Cooking, clothing, medicine and marriages are just a few of the practices that come to mind. While the world of cooking, clothing, medicine and marriages have pretty much eliminated the need delineate race when it comes to business; hair care has not.

Have you ever gone into a Mexican restaurant and they have a seating section that reads “ethnic seating?” Have you ever received a shot from a doctor and the medicine reads “for women of color?” And have you ever purchased a pair of jeans that read “for mixed chicks?” How is it that the hair care industry has somehow managed to remain in the Neanderthal times when it comes to hair care?  Back in the 1700’s, during B.C., and all that jive; the world was very separate. My how things have changed? There was a time when Caucasoid truly meant straight blond hair. There was a time when Mongoloid meant straight black hair. And there was a time when Negroid meant kinky brown hair.

Today, those terms are not even used; unless you are an Anthropologist or Geneticist. The only Geneticist I know is Antoinette Hillian and even she does not use those terms! When I care for her hair, she is only concerned that I care for her hair; not a black or Negroid women. “Hair is as unique as the head on which it lies,” says Philip Pelusi. The world of hair styling and hair care, from those who style hair to those who make hair care products and styling tools, need to be like the food, clothing and medicine business and leave “race” to the cars.

George Washington was able to rock his Amadeus, Nefertiti and Cleopatra was able to crown their glory; people today are no different from Gee, Nef and Cleo. They too know that hair care is innate, it is freedom, it is expression, fun and it is here to stay.